If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.  So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!  And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life,  and set on fire by hell.  For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind,  but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.  Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?  Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

James 3:2-12

One thing we all have in common is the misuse of our tongue. Either overuse, underuse or inappropriate use. Perhaps the tongue runs ahead of our mind and the spirit of God spewing words that wound, words we often wish we could put back inside us. On the other hand, there are times when we know we should speak up and speak truth, but nothing comes out. We quench the spirit. Then there are the words that just make us cringe, not from evil, but from insensitivity, error, or just not thinking. In our scripture James warns us about our words.

We would all be careful with a match in dry woods. We’d be cautious using our grill during a drought, we wouldn’t dump the used charcoal in dry leaves, and most likely we’d follow Smokey the Bear’s instructions and douse it with water as we would a campfire. James says we should be equally on guard using our tongue. Are we careful where and when we use our words? Do we sum up each conversation and determine if it is the season for that word? Do we douse the spark with water when we do say something that incites another or injures them? The water of a apology, explanation or whatever action it takes to resolve our misuse of this muscle in our mouths?

James also compares our tongue to the rudder of a ship. The rudder directs the course the ship will take. Depending on how the rudder is handled, the ship may sail safely into calm seas and arrive at its destination in a timely manner. Or it could flounder in shoals, run aground or plow into another ship doing irreparable damage. What about the ship of our lives, how’s the trip going? Perhaps you find yourself always at odds with a husband, mother-in-law, co-worker, or even a stranger. There seems to be tension, a war of words or constant misunderstandings. Our tongue often is the rudder that has steered us into the situation, and it will take some careful steering to get us out.

So how do we handle the tongue?

First, we handle the heart. Words that come out of our mouth flow from the peace or chaos going on in our hearts. James says words are simply the fruit of the tree – if we’re a fig tree we grow figs and if we’re an olive tree we grow olives. What kind of tree are you? An anger tree? A fearful tree? A frustrated tree? An insecure or lonely tree? Our solution for issues with our tongues is to allow Jesus to heal our wounded hearts and turn us into Blessing trees or Kindness trees or Joyful trees or something similar. To have a heart change it takes going to see the Great Physician, spending time in His Presence and allowing Him to work on us and make the necessary repairs. As we are recovering we begin bearing the fruit we see in the verses below, good fruit, from a good tree – a healed heart.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Galatians 5:22-24

Second, we obey. We exercise self-control even when we would feel more justified in making a smart remark or saying something hateful derogatory. Obeying the call of scripture to put others before ourselves, to walk humbly, to control our tongues is difficult. It takes a constant awareness of where our heart is leaning and a minute by minute decision to submit to God’s ways. But Girls, we can do it. God is at work in us, empowering us to live Holy lives, we simply follow through and do what we know to do.

So today we are challenged to be tongue-tamers! Which is even more challenging than being a lion tamer! We can do this. We want the ship of our lives to take a peaceful voyage that uplifts others as we travel on. We don’t want to be arsonists running around setting fires! Take it one day at a time. No wait, one minute at a time! We can do this!

We all have our ideas of what makes a house a home. My home would not be home without coffee. We all have our morning rituals. Mine is basically grab a cup of coffee and head out on the deck with my Bible. No talking please, at least until I’ve finished my first cup. Oh yeah, and there’s a “Poppy, go outside?” mumbled as I head out the door. And he does. I’m at home. I miss this ritual when I’m away from home.

Right now I’m sipping my fully loaded Green Mountain Breakfast Blend with Peppermint Mocha creamer as I type. So how about some observations?

1. Coffee is a seed/bean from a plant. It is planted carefully and grown in the shade until it can be transplanted into moist soil where the roots can get established.
2. When a coffee plant grows, matures, and bears fruit, it is ready to be put to use for the purpose it was made.
3. Coffee is put through the fire to make it useful for our purposes. In a 550 degree oven, the beans are roasted until they reach an inner temp of 400 degrees. This browns them and allows the flavorful caffeol oil locked inside to emerge. (My source)
4. Coffee is ground to make it useful for our purposes. The beans are put through grinder and ground to bits, and no longer even looks like a bean, a necessary process for the flavors to come out as we make it into the cup of coffee we drink.
5. Coffee is put through hot water to make it useful for our purposes. It is soaked in boiling water to release its flavor.
6. Coffee is hard to swallow black (just my opinion!).
7. Coffee is bitter when percolated, so add a dash of salt.
8. Coffee is best when filled with yummy creamer.
9. Coffee energizes and gets the day started off right.

Lessons we can learn from coffee: The Christian life is like coffee.

1. When we allow Christ to make His home in our heart, His seed is planted in us and that Christ-like character begins to grow us into a new person that will eventually take over and transform the old us. (2 Corinthians 5:17) Like coffee plants we need careful attention as we are developing. We need to be in the word and prayer and with other believers at this point to get our roots established.
2. We will grow, mature and bear fruit, becoming the person God designed us to be and ready to be useful to the Father, waiting for Him to process us. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:20)
3. Our preparation for God’s purposes often involves being put through the fire, ground to bits, and feeling like we are drowning in boiling water. We will no longer even look like who we were before this. This change is not fun, but it is necessary. We are roasted (tested), ground (remade), and brewed in hot waters (humbled) where the sweet flavor of Christ is released and put to use.
4. We often are hard to swallow at first. We may be bold and brassy and tend to storm the gates of hell with a water pistol in our zeal, but God isn’t through.
5. He keeps working with His creation. The Holy Spirit seasons us with salt to get rid of the bitterness, then adds cream to make us appealing to the lost world He is seeking. He develops in us the fruit of the Spirit and we become tasty to those around us. They desire to drink in more of the Jesus in us.
6. We become to each other that energizing, flavor-filled source of encouragement!

I realize my extended metaphor is rather a loose one, but you get the picture. As you welcome people into your home for a cup of coffee or meet another lady at Starbucks, I encourage you to remember that Christ is at work in you, even in your personal hard times, using you to encourage others in their Christian walk. You are helping others to develop a home in their hearts where Christ dwells and works and uses them to spread flavor to the world as well.

Psalm 127

Unless the Lord builds the house,
    the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
    the guards stand watch in vain.
In vain you rise early
    and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
    for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Children are a heritage from the Lord,
    offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
    are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
    whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
    when they contend with their opponents in court.

Nearly every baby born is viewed as a treasure at his birth. I’m sure some are not looked forward to, but the tenderness of a baby predisposes them to be cherished just for their helpless state. But that first time the child cries all night, I can tell you, it is really hard to keep the perspective that she is a treasure. Our sleep deprived brains sense the cause of our sleep deprivation as a minor enemy, and it is very challenging to find the balance, patience, and courage we parents need. We may feel guilty placing the screaming baby in the crib alone and walking out for ten minutes to get a grip on our frustration, but we also feel guilty and fearful holding that bundle of stress knowing our anger and frustrations are rising.

As an “old” mom let me just say, place the baby safely in the bed. Walk away. Wake your husband or call your mom. The baby’s safety is the priority at the moment, and sleep deprived, stressed moms need to take a step back. Don’t feel guilty. Know that you are doing what is safe and healthy for that little one you love so – most of the time – just not at 3:08 a.m.

But that is only the first threat to viewing our child as a treasure. Those threats keep coming, new ones arrive with each natural step in a child’s development.

In the high chair feeding stage, when they throw their sticky green food on your beautiful white blouse as you head out to the office, in that moment they may not feel like a treasure. What do you do? Laugh so you don’t cry and change the blouse. It is what it is.

At two years old when the answer to everything is “NO!” and you can’t win because nothing pleases them in those moments, they don’t feel very treasure-like. When that three or four-year-old has a lay down on the ground fit in an inconvenient place and you are terribly embarrassed, they don’t feel like that treasure they did the day they were born. When that pre-teen’s smart mouth kicks in and you want to exchange them for that sweet child you used to know… nothing to treasure there. When they are sixteen and rebelling against your authority, or twenty-three and they are so far off the path of righteousness that you wonder if they will live, the treasure meter reads zero.

All of those experiences make you lose perspective on this treasure God gave you, this baby, child, teen or adult treasure. It will likely cause you to feel a wave of negative feelings from irritation to fear to anger to disgust to desperation and hatred. But those feelings are only that – they are feelings conjured up by thoughts and chemicals in our brains. Don’t trust you feelings! The truth is found in God’s word – children are a heritage, a treasure, a reward. That is the truth. That is not a feeling. That is from God not man. That can be trusted.

If we keep this truth ever-present in our minds the Enemy of Our Souls will not be able to gain power over us. He will not be able to make us say or do something we may regret. But we must always know the truth, for the truth sets us free. (John 8:31-32) Free from the enemy’s grip and the fleshly temptation to view what God calls a treasure as an inconvenience, or to allow our minds to be wrapped up and controlled by those negative emotions that our child can trigger in us.

That is why it is crucial to have God’s word stored in our memories. Feelings can only be changed by placing God’s truth in our minds to overcome the barrage of negative thoughts that trigger negative emotions. Scripture tells us how to do that, and it is really a very simple concept, but a difficult one to master.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

We are to replace every negative thought with thoughts that are true and noble and right and pure and lovely and admirable and excellent and praiseworthy! If you can do that with every thought, your emotions will fall in line and you will be exercising the Spirit’s fruit of self-control. It can be done, but it takes a lot of practice, trust me! Why don’t you start today. Choose to trust the truths of God’s word and keep them ever before your eyes, don’t trust your feelings.

That child, no matter their age, really is a treasure – God says so!

This year, in conjunction with our women’s ministry’s activities, Priceless will begin a series of blogs under the theme of “Making it Home.” We’ll have to see exactly which direction the Lord takes us. The articles will be focused on the home, our roles as nurturers in our households, and how to make our houses into homes, whether physically, spiritually, emotionally, or even as arms that reach out to our neighbors, friends, and family members. I hope you’ll follow along with these articles and that they will bless you and give you ideas and inspiration in many areas of your life.

Old fashioned “homemaking” has become obsolete. Have you noticed? We love to have beautifully decorated homes, but we often see ourselves more as interior decorators and hostesses rather than the homemakers our grandmothers were. Between jobs, school, church, ballgames, music and dance lessons, leisure activities and such our houses have become simply stop-overs where we change clothes and sleep. (I almost added “eat” in there, but in reality we have lunch dates and dinner with friends, or we eat out while shopping or grab fast food on the way to The Next Thing, so even meals aren’t nearly the focus of the home they were when we were all younger.

We all long for home. When we are away we want to be home for the safety, security, or rest. We long for the security and rich relationships the word “home” suggests, yet we congregate as a family in an angry, chaotic atmosphere or in a building that seems full of loss, regret, and depression. Maybe even within the walls of our houses we long for “home” because the place we dwell does not satisfy our hearts the way our grandmama’s little frame house did. We want to be able to abide in a place where we are known, loved just as we are, cherished, and desired. Yet feelings of anxiousness and distance often characterize our life at home. If we feel this way, how much more must our children?

To have an abode full of joy, care, peace, and nurturing, we must learn to abide. Full joy and love and meaning in living can be found only through abiding in Jesus Christ, having an intimate relationship with Him. All the decorating and entertaining and money spent will not yield joy, contentment, and a happy home. The first home we must build is our spiritual home, that home in our heart for Christ to dwell in, otherwise we are an empty shell like an old warehouse or a burned out building. Scripture relates Jesus’ words to us about abiding, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:9-11 ESV) Full joy comes through abiding in Him.

As we traverse this year of articles, we hope your heart will grow into a home where Christ abides, and your physical home will grow into that place of joy, contentment, beauty, and deep healthy relationships. We hope this series will help you turn your heart toward home.

Steve and Annie Chapman – “Turn Your Heart Toward Home”

Do you have a servant’s heart?

Confession. My family and I are total goofballs. We act the silliest and find humor in the most unusual things. Like, having British accent days or taking on a character role for the day, pranking each other, or making word plays until its ridiculous (think “Facing the Giants” and the whole Hindenburg sketch of misusing words and playing with them). We are so much into silliness that we occasionally make each other annoyed if one is in the mood to play and another is not. I say all that to set up my “Cabana Boy” story. Hopefully your will enjoy a bit of our weirdness and maybe even identify with it.

As I sat on the back deck writing that cloudy Monday morning, I was deep in thought researching an upcoming lesson. Time moved on without my notice, and I was oblivious to the fact that the sun had come out and I was squinting and shielding my computer screen from the glare. Until my goofy husband, in his best Cabana Boy imitation popped outside to my rescue. He came bearing the umbrella, but of course he had to add a dramatic flair.

With a giant smile and the gracious motions of a prime example of Cabana Boy from the best resort you’ve ever been to, he launched into his spiel. “Your Cabana Boy at your service, Ma’am. Which way would you like the umbrella tilted? Is that better, does it cut the glare on your screen? Would you care for a beverage or fruit? No? Then please know that I am at your service today whatever need you may have. We aim to make sure you have a pleasant stay.”

My heart was light as my Cabana Boy retreated back inside to his Covid-office at the kitchen table. How pleasant and joyful he was. What a servant attitude. My mind began to wander. It turned to spiritual things as I pondered this man that so exasperates me some days, but was so joyful today. We are so far from perfect. My husband likes to say we are two warped boards that God has strapped together through marriage to help straighten up the warps. But today, he operated with a servant’s heart of love and it got me to thinking…

How am I as a servant of the Most High? Am I a joyful, kindhearted servant ready to go the extra mile as the Father presents opportunities? Am I looking for ways to serve Him? Ways to serve others and make another’s life a little easier? Do I serve with a great attitude, or grudgingly and dutifully? Do I reflect love and kindness to others as I serve? Am I the five star Cabana Boy who makes life pleasant for those around me? Are you?

In our fleshly nature, we humans are selfish creatures. We do things out of obligation or what’s-in-it-for-me. If we do it because we feel we must, we often reflect that through a bad attitude as we serve. We serve as the Cabana Boy who is just in it for the paycheck, and not as the one who serves from the heart because “It’s my pleasure.”

Spiritual growth is about becoming more than it is about knowing. We sometimes reverse that thought and think the more we know about God and scripture the more mature we are spiritually. But today let’s focus on becoming. Becoming that joyful servant of God. Take a moment today to ask God to make you into His humble, joyful servant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Father God, Change me. Make me a joyful servant. Create in my a servant’s heart and a steadfast spirit willing and ready to serve You and those around me as a service to You. Reshape my motives. Remake my heart of stone into a heart of flesh that serves with love and joy and kindness, reflecting You in all I do. Amen.