by guest author Kimberly Hargreaves.
I took this picture last year while heading to our first day of CBS. (Sidenote: If you’ve never heard of Community Bible Study, see if there is one in your area! It’s online this year and can do your heart so much good!) I knew when I started, that was exactly where God was leading me to deepen my relationship with Him, and for my boys as well. They would be learning and growing in love right alongside me. I watched as they got ahead of me, noticing the distance of height in between the two. My little one thinks the big one hung the moon. Of course, I had to turn it into a photo opp. I’ve looked back at this photo many times throughout this past year and thought, if someone had once told me that not only would I one day be a stay at home mom, but a homeschooling mom as well, I would have laughed and said “y’all crazy”.
If I’m being completely honest, being a stay at home mom has never been a desire of mine. I’m pretty ashamed to say that now. There will always be the debate of which role is harder… stay at home mom vs. working mom. Throughout this life I have been in every role of mommin’… teenage mom, divorced mom, single mom, working mom, working/student mom, full time student mom, stay at home mom, and now homeschooling mom. I can honestly say they are ALL hard. Each of them have their own rewards/challenges that the others may not have.
Life can throw some ugly curve balls and we often find ourselves in positions we never thought we would be in. A few years ago, my family was doing what we thought was best and we had plans and dreams, but somewhere along the way… I forgot who holds my plans and dreams, and what I wanted became bigger. I didn’t cling to my first love and trust that He knew what was best. So when those dreams came crashing down, I was lost because I allowed my identity to become entangled in them. It was a pretty dark and depressing couple of years. But God. He pulled me out of my own self pity and set my paths straight. He welcomed me back.
I gave Him my complete trust and He gave me new desires. Not my will, Lord, but Yours. We are going into our third year of homeschooling, and for the first time, I know this is exactly where I’m suppose to be in this season. I’m so thankful He took away that desire for the “American dream,” and set an eternal dream on my heart.
I see these boys and weariness tries to creep in… God, what if they fall? What if they follow their own hearts and not yours? What if they slip away from their first love? And He answers, “Then I’ll chase them down, like I did you.” Friend, if this is you… He is more than willing to set your paths straight as well. Call out to Him, run back to your Abba. He is always there waiting.
Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you; but will rejoice over you with singing.”