I am not a music person.
I have probably mentioned that before. Music does not move me to tears or speak to me in such a way that I am able to identify with what is being sung. I do not thirst for music or need it in my life. My husband is a music man and he needs it to work, to relax, to function. Music more or less is background noise to me. I enjoy it but I do not require it. I like it but I do not need it.
It is said that when I was little I would cry when my parents listened to country music. When Hank would sing I would wail. I have no recollection of this and while I can not confirm or deny it, I do find it ironic, though perhaps it is just a rumor.
Rumor also has it I was named for a song of the seventies by my name, spelled differently, sounds the same I am told. I am not convinced either way but I do find that to be irony at its finest.
My musical indifference can be frustrating to those in my life who are not like me. There are several musical folks in my world. It is not uncommon for me to receive a message containing song lyrics and I am asked to “just listen” and be moved. I added that last part. I usually just smile or behave in a cordial manner, but I am left clueless. Like a bad punchline I simply do not make the connection they want me to make.
Recently, I was driving down the road and I was moved to tears over a song on the radio.
I will admit I have been tender lately. I have learned over time, when emotions are raw, tears just beneath the surface, I seem to be tender, not as thick-skinned, and the slightest jostle leaves me exposed and tearful.
It began with a declaration… I love You, Lord… I do. I do love you Lord. I do not always act like it, but I do.
For Your mercy never failed me All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands And all my life You have been faithful And all my life You have been so, so good… Not One. Single. Time. You have never once failed me. None, not one time have You failed to be faithful to me. I have been in the palm of your hand for as long as I can remember. Even when I thought otherwise, you have been so good, so very good to me.
I love Your voice You have led me through the fire And in darkest night You are close like no other…Your voice, your words, the very Word becoming Flesh, evidence of your goodness. When I have walked through trials by fire and darkness by day, You are there leading me, whispering in my ear “This way Child, Walk in it.”
I got it. I finally got it. The gut-wrenching, stop me in my tracks, leave me a blubbering mess feeling. That resonating feeling into my marrow. I understood for the first time in my over four decades of life what it is that my musical people experience every time they are moved by the music.
Listen: Goodness of God ~ Bethel Music