by Morgan Ramsey
“Morgan, he doesn’t like me. I guess I wasn’t good enough for him. He just wanted to be friends. I am not worthy of someone like that.” As a girls’ minister, I hear this plenty from the middle school and high school girls at my church. And as hard as it is to hear that, I know it’s even harder to say out loud. Why? Because it gets at a fear that we as girls, and even more so as women have: a fear of rejection. Rejection is hard. It’s a low blow, and demolishes any ounce of self-esteem that we may have had. Why? Because we let it.
But we let it because we believe a lie that could not be further from the truth: You aren’t enough. As young girls we hear it and see it everywhere we go. This lie can be found in magazines, or songs, or in a movie, or in the school hallways where the other girls make fun of how we look. We can find it in people’s comments about what we are wearing, or when every single girl is in a relationship BUT US. And we don’t grow out of this when we graduate high school. As women we can see it every single day if we look in our own lives and in the lives of other women around us.
Yeah, I know. I get it. I struggle with it every day of my life. My surroundings have changed, but the lie remains. Instead of seeing it in high school hallways, I see it in my work place, in my personal life, in my family, and in the way I think about myself. And I’ve realized unless we get to the root of the issue, it will metastasize from middle school to adult life. It’s a silent killer It’s hard to rid yourself of this lie, because well… it’s so stinkin’ believable!
I’m reading through a book called Lies Young Women Believe, and it goes through all of the different lies that Satan throws at us every single day. There is also an adult version for women as well, and it is equally as powerful. The amount of lies that Satan throws at us daily is scary. But what is even scarier is the thought that women BELIEVE these lies every day. The one that keeps coming back to me is this lie of “you are not enough.” And to a certain extent, that is true. We AREN’T enough. But in Him, we are more than enough.
The Lord calls us something different. He calls us into a different type of living. He calls us worthy. He calls us beloved. He calls us His masterpiece. He calls us His prize and possession. He calls us chosen. And most importantly, He calls us to live in freedom, not in bondage to a lie that has no place in our lives.
Because of Him, we become faultless, holy, blameless, righteous, pure, and enough. Because He has made us these things and even more, we don’t have to be burdened by rejection. When people say we aren’t enough, we can look up and look at the Father and say, “He makes me enough, because He is more than enough”. We don’t have to live burdened by what people think of us. We can live abundantly in the truth of what He calls us.
The lie of rejection always hits you hardest in the place where you feel least satisfied. So for middle school girls and high school girls they face this lie head on in relationships. The desire to be wanted and loved by a guy is strong in this age group. I’m starting to realize you can find this lie anywhere. I told you how I see it in my life, but I’ve seen it in the woman who has worked for years with her company and didn’t get that promotion. I’ve seen it in the woman who watched a lifelong friend walk out of her life. I’ve seen it in the woman whose child wants nothing to do with her. I’ve seen it in the woman who struggles with miscarriage and the woman who can’t get pregnant after years of trying. I’ve seen it in the woman who has prayed for marriage for years and is still single at 33. I’ve seen it in the woman who has a perfect marriage on the outside, but on the inside feels an immovable separation from her husband and is plagued by loneliness.
The lie of rejection always hits you hardest in the place where you feel least satisfied.
Fill in your blank. WE ALL deal with this. Sometimes we can’t control what comes our way. But we can control how we respond. So. How are you going to fight the lie of rejection this week? I tell my girls that one of the best ways to fight this is to remember who you are. Not who you are as a person, but who you are in Him. Remember sweet girl or woman of God, the God who made you so intimately, cares a ton about you.
Honesty hour. I struggle with this lie. I’ve struggled with this lie this week. But let me share something with you. When it gets the hardest, when I hit my lowest on the self-esteem scale, Jesus reminds me who I am in Him. Here’s what He breathed into me this week. I pray that this helps you remember who you are and who made you so intimately every time the enemy throws the lie of rejection your way. I’m praying for you this week
“Oh Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I’m going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride on the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night – but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!”- Psalm 139:1-18