by Guest Writer: Brea Burelle
I am Single. Never been married. Never had that special guy in my life. Been on only one date. Yes, I am weird, but loved by God. Did I want to get married, go on dates and live my life with that special guy? YES!!!! Of course, I did.
I remember as a teenager and young adult dreaming about the guy I was going to marry. Like everyone I had my life all planned out. I could tell you all about my dream wedding: the dress, the colors, the receptions. What style of house we would live in. (You know the one – white picket fence.) I even had a list of possible names for my children. Life was going to be grand. Just perfect. Everything I had ever dreamed about. Except the Lord never brought the guy into the picture.
In my 20’s I knew about God, but didn’t have a solid relationship with him. Church was a place to have fun with my friends and look for my future husband. In the meantime, I was going on with my life. I had a job and purchased my first home, still with no husband in the picture. When are you going to send that guy, Lord? People would talk about praying for my future husband, but without a good Biblical foundation I had no idea what they were talking about or how to start. The Lord knows what I want, why should I pray for my future husband. I know God’s plan for my life includes marriage.
As I grew older, my relationship with the Lord grew. I was learning about God and his Word. Bible study became important to me. But still no husband. The years went by and I reached the milestone birthdays of 25, 30, 35, 40 and 45 and all the while I am questioning God: God, I thought we had this all planned out. Where’s my one true love? Why didn’t you fulfill my dream? Why am I not married? All my friends are married. Lord, my friends are having children. I want my own children Lord! Why am I not even dating? Am I supposed to stay single forever? Is there something wrong with me? Am I too picky? Lord, have I missed him? Did you ask me to do something and I didn’t obey you? Are you punishing me? But Lord, I have standards. I want a Godly man. I want a man who will take leadership of our household, a man that wants to study your Word. I don’t want to live as the world lives, I want to be set apart. I want my life to be based on your Word and your standards Lord.
As my relationship with the Lord grew, I just took it that I was supposed to be Single. Okay, singleness is the path you have for me Lord. If that is your will I will accept it. I will enjoy life. I have friends: married and single. I can go on Mission trips and travel with friends. I’m happy. I am content. I am serving the Lord. Lord I know that you are my husband and I am your bride. Even though the Lord has provided for my needs I occasionally still long for that special guy. You know the one. He thinks you are special, opens the car door for you, handles the problems when things breakdown in the house. Lord, I might be single, but I would like someone to grow old with here on earth. Okay, maybe children aren’t in the picture anymore, but there are other options: Foster care, Adoption, maybe he’ll come with children and grandchildren. Lord, what is your plan? I know that God tells me in his Word that he had a plan for my life before I was even born. What I have had to learn is that it is HIS plan; it is not my plan. God called each of us here for a purpose. Each one of us has a different path to walk. Some walk the path of marriage, others a single life. Each of us have things that God needs to teach us and he has planned for us to accomplish.
So let me ask you unmarried ladies a question: Did you pray for your future husband? Every once in a while you hear people talking about praying for their future spouse, but have you? I can’t say that I ever did. At least not any real serious praying. Mine was more like: “Lord, I want a husband, or Lord be with my future husband.” So you ladies that really prayed for your husbands and God answered your prayer, stand up and give your testimonies. Are we even teaching our young girls and single ladies about how to pray for their future husbands? What if God doesn’t bring that special mate? Are we teaching them to still follow the path God has for them, that God still loves them, that being Single is not the end of the world, to never give up, to not to let their desire for a husband keep them from doing all that God has planned for them, that God still answers prayers? Sometimes we have to be patient.
Just recently, I felt the Lord pressing upon me to begin pray for my future husband and future husbands of my friends. You see, I look out into our churches and wonder, “Where are all of godly, single men seeking the Lord?” I know that there are some single ones out there, but it is like looking for a needle in a haystack. The godly men I see are married. They are the ones I want my future husband and the future husband of my friends to learn from. I want someone who is already seeking the Lord. Maybe this is the singleness thinking in me, but how can I learn to pray with him if I have not already been praying for him.
Okay Lord, I will begin praying. But I didn’t know where to start. As I have grown closer to the Lord, I know that my prayers need to be more specific. So off to the Internet I go. I needed a list of things to pray for. During my search I came across the list below on a blog post by Cheryl Mackay and these are also in her book Finally the Bride, Finding Hope While Waiting. I have not read the book so I can’t give a recommendation. In fact, I know nothing about Cheryl Mackay, but when I read her list I knew that these are some things I would want in a future husband. Who knows if I will ever receive a “Yes” to my prayer, but for the time being I will obey the Lord. I will pray for my future husband and the future husband of my friends that are seeking. You married ladies might want to pray some of these items for your husbands or you may want to share these with someone who is single. Pray them for your sons that will one day be seeking a young lady. Pray for the single men out there that they will turn to the Lord and become the Godly Leaders us single ladies are looking for.
- Pray for his walk with God, that he continues to grow spiritually and is prepped to be the spiritual head of a household, and that he makes God the top priority in his life.
- Pray for his ability to hear God’s voice, for his ear to be in tune to hear all of God’s instructions.
- Pray for his will to be bendable toward whatever God wants for his life.
- Pray for his emotional health—that any past wounds be dealt with and healed. Pray for restoration in all areas.
- Pray for his physical health.
- Pray that he break free of any unhealthy addictions, if needed.
- Pray for his career, his life’s work, that he be established in the field where God wants to use him and that he be wise with his resources.
- Pray for his ministry—that he be sensitive to God’s call on his life when it comes to ministering to and serving others. Also, pray for God to prepare both of you for the ways you will minister together.
- Pray for his preparation—that he yields to all that God’s potter’s hands would like to accomplish in him.
- Pray for God to send any trials necessary into his life that will allow the preparation process to be complete. I realize that may be a bit controversial. Knowing how much God has accomplished in my life through trials, I would expect nothing less of my husband’s journey toward me.
- Pray for God to prepare him to be a father, if the two of you will ultimately raise a family together.
- Pray for God to help him be responsible with his finances and prepare him to be a significant contributor and provider to the household.
- Pray for his identity as a man, his masculinity and self-esteem, that he grows into the man God wants him to be.
- Pray for him to not be distracted by any counterfeits—especially other women that God doesn’t intend to use for his growth.
- Pray for God to allow this man to see you the way God wants you to be seen, with God’s heart toward you.
- Pray for God to show you how to pray for your husband. Be open to whatever His Spirit may whisper to you, to cover your husband’s needs. If you feel God gives you something specific, write it down and date it. Save it for later.
9 thoughts on “Singleness & Praying for That Hoped for Husband”
Awesome word Brea! I admit to not praying specifically about my future husband either. I know it’s not to late to start though. Thank you for giving me and others a place to start. It’s comforting to know I have a friend’s both single and married praying for me and with me. I’m praying for you and with you as well my friend!
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Thank you for being so authentic and transparent, Brea. The enemy wants us to feel alone in our feelings on this topic, or like we are wrong for still desiring a husband. This really encourages me as I recently hit a milestone and singleness seems a little more real now. I don’t want the gift of singleness. But, I do want God’s will above my desires. Thank you for sharing!
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This was so lovely! The list you posted is full of things I should still be praying for my husband. Thank you for the reminder.
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Brea, I really enjoyed reading your post. I’m glad the specifics I suggested you pray for were helpful. I’m about to kick off a new book series in November called Dates With God that is for singles and married women and what you describe reminds me a lot of it. I love how you treasure your alone time with God. How surrendered you’ve been and how you listen to His voice when He says pray. 🙂 May God bless you on this journey. – Cheryl McKay (www.dateswithGod.com)
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Cheryl, Thanks for you kind words. I really have to admit I knew nothing about you, your journey or your ministry, I came across your blog post during a random internet search. I have to admit I just printed the list and added it to my prayer journal. Your list was the most comprehensive list I found when looking and really touched on things I would want to pray for my future husband and also myself. It was not until I was writing the blog post that I went back to your website and read a little about your journey. Thank you for your willingness to share your story and create a ministry that allows other Singles to see that God has not forgotten them and everything is in HIS timing. I will check out your new book series. May God continue to bless you and your husband, Chris. Brea Burelle,
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Thanks, Brea. I did that blog as a Pinterest post and some how it got shared 1000s of times. It’s one of my most read blogs. 🙂 But I’m thankful for that since prayer is where it starts. Many blessings on your journey!
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Beautiful and encouraging post, thank you! I will definitely use your suggested prayer list 🙂
He’s out there! Praying for all!
Great blog post, Brea! I have a friend in a similar situation – except she’s dated before (a godly man) but it didn’t work out. I just wanted to say great job for emphasising the power of prayer – even for things like a spouse or a boyfriend, whatever. Prayer is powerful. My personal testimony is that I didn’t know what to do, all my friends were dating and getting married and here I was, all alone. I prayed on and off for 2 years, until finally one day I met a godly person. I met my spouse. And no, it wasn’t love at first sight or anything you see in Romance movies – in fact, we became friends and had common interests first. And even then, I wasn’t interested for the longest time and surprisingly, when the timing came to date, I didn’t want to date despite mutual feelings because I was afraid. Anyway, fast forward a long time and I’m married. So, please don’t lose hope. Even during dating, I was so sure I’d return to being single again, and felt so insecure in myself, self-esteem was so low. But I can say I’m content in the season I’m in. Making time for God is another story – just wanted to put that in to let you know I’m far from perfect and have struggles in my journey and walk with God too – everyone does. And that’s okay. God will never leave nor forsake me or anyone, even when things are far from easy.
Just my 2cents 🙂