Truth be told. Sometimes I lie.
For example, there have been times in my life if you’d asked me how I’ve been and I would have looked at you in the face and said “Good,” and it be a lie. Straight up, bold face lie. In my head I try to lessen the blow of said lie by finishing the statement with “if good means I’m not dead and no one is in jail….yet” or “If good means I feel like I’m basically failing at life right now then heck yeah I’m doing flippin’ fantastic!”
The Martin world has times when it is totally topsy-turvy, our ups and downs are more downs and there are days I feel any moment the thread might just give way. Recently, a precious one asked me how I was and I could only answer with a vague “We’re good, just having some struggles right now.” The Precious One began to name a few of the many generalized topics one potentially struggles with and I said, “Yes.” Yes to which one? Yes to all.
Recently, I asked the King for a little order, some straight horizontal and vertical lines in a world full of diagonal ones. I asked Him If He wouldn’t mind to do that for me. In my memory I was taken back to a time when He used His people and had done exactly that. It was one of many Martin moves when some Dear Ones organized my entire kitchen. I came home to cabinets lined and labeled, filled and readied. It still makes me smile when I think of it.
Some mornings ago I awoke unsettled. That is how I often awaken and through a series of unplanned and unorganized steps I found myself staring blankly at a minuscule diorama of what life sometimes feels like. I’ve about decided every home has one, like the families they represent they are equally different yet like those families they are the same. Truth be told, if I’m ever given the opportunity, I like to survey the ones in other homes. Over the years of informal research I’ve found that it is often the most distal and aptly named of places, The Junk Drawer. As I pulled open that rectangle of chaos I surveyed it with equal feelings of disgust and apathy. The feeling of frustration, the knowledge it needed to be remedied and the lack motivation to do anything about it left me standing and staring down an unnatural length of time, so long I had, in fact, forgotten what I was looking for.
What happened next I have entitled, “Lessons from the Junk Drawer.”
1. Survey the Damage. I stood there in a state of shock. Despite daily opening of the Junk drawer I could not figure out how it had gotten so bad. Truth be told, it was a gradual decline I hadn’t junked it up overnight, tossed in something here, thrown in a random thing there. I had rummaged around repeatedly so much so that everything in there couldn’t help but be displaced and disorderly.
2. Resolve to take a step forward, get a plan. Make a pile or two, or in my case 12.
3. Sort through. Process it, but for the love don’t be so stuck on the piles of rubbish and disorganization that you lose sight of the goal. Don’t try to understand why you’ve actually saved for an unknown length of time the netting from a bag of lemons, approximately 146 Hanukkah candles….One hundred and forty-six!!! I’m not even Jewish! One as in a single ONE soda pop tab, a single key to who-knows-where and various and sundry stationery items. No wonder I can never find a pen when I need it. They are all held hostage in the Junk Drawer. Take a moment to pause and evaluate the progress. Document it so you won’t forget when the drawer gets really junky again next week. This is one of the single most important things. I like to journal the progress, my memory is short and I can not deny something written in my own hand reminding me I may not be where I want to be, but I’m sure not where I was.
4. Shed the baggage. Get rid of the unnecessary burdens weighing the drawer down, the decades old band-aids that have no sticky and yellowing absorbent pad that is not in fact infused with antibiotic ointment but discolored from age. The things and thoughts that have cluttered my mind which serve no purpose but to weigh me down. I’m ditching those even as I speak.
5. Start again. I saved all 146 plus Hanukkah candles, I have a menorah or two and I plan to use those, they’ll serve as birthday candles in a pinch and despite the knowledge that I’m not actually Jewish, My King is, so I am by proxy. Those candles make me smile so I’m hanging on to them. The lemon bag made its way to the trash, as did the band aids. The end results are not HGTV worthy but they are indeed satisfying. I know that the process of sorting through the metaphorical junk drawer of life can be painful and tedious, but the end result, that is what I must stay focused on. I am thankful that I woke up unsettled, had I not I might’ve missed such an amazing life lesson from the chaotic Junk Drawer.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1
asked to help. They began telling me to get his medications and his wallet and send with him. The medics had decided to fly him to either Birmingham or Huntsville. They were taking him on a stretcher out the door, and said, “We’ll let you know which one.”
We followed up with his neurologist. At this visit, we walked in, sat down, and he pointed to some X-rays. He said, “This is your brain. You’ve had 2 small strokes in the area that controls speech. You should recover completely. But…” What he said next, I wasn’t ready for. “You could have another one any time. You might not survive it. I’ve had 3 patients this week, younger than you, who didn’t. There’s really nothing you can do, go home, reduce your stress, and enjoy your life.”
have deduced early on… weird was in my future. So as my tired old minivan wandered down the roads of Gardendale I shouldn’t have been surprised when the low flying bird collided with the front of my van, death instantaneous, the impact propelling the dead bird carcass onto my windshield wipers where it became lodged.
later we reached our destination, the local Chick-fil-A. Charlotte had been saving her gift card she earned early in the summer rocking babies and feeding toddlers during a babysitting gig. The time had come for her to relinquish it in exchange for a much desired spicy chicken sandwich.
I offered all I could to Mag’s, the only balm that can truly ease a broken heart, prayer. We prayed for the mama and we prayed for her kids. We prayed for the weary and the broken. We asked for forgiveness if we’d acted in such a way that doesn’t honor our King. After our prayer we carried on with our meal. The crying counterpart continued to mourn.
With my Bible open before me and a table full of commentaries and notebooks strewn all around, a strange thought came to my mind. Here you are sitting in a bread shop consuming the Bread of Life. This is your House of Bread, your Bethlehem.
“Jesus declared, ‘
For that reason, I am continually praying that your love for Him deepens and the roots of truth dig down deep in your heart. The branches may be shaken by experiences, but if the roots are solid, the tree will stand firm no matter the storms that blow. Know that you can take your cares to Christ—all of them, ALL OF THEM. Remember your life verse, “Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; 
LOVE BIG. When you get bogged down in your own little world, you’ll get depressed. Seek others out and love them big. Remember to consider others better than yourself. That’s one of the secrets to unlocking the true joy of Christ. 
Hebrews 11:1 tells us that “faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” What do you put your confidence in? Some things I have chosen to put confidence in over the years are my husband, a job, finances, doctors, my “good”-ness, truth, family – and these are just a few. Have these ever rescued me? No. I guess they’ve made my anxious heart quit racing a little at times, but they have never had the answer or the final say. There is only One worth putting our confidence in. Only one that we can be assured has the power to rescue.
I see articles on faith issues being “proven” by science. I know these are meant to calm our curious mind and help as we struggle with unbelief. But in reality, faith and science are on opposite ends of a spectrum. Science is based on what can be observed by the senses. But faith… what does it say? It is the “substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things 
The story goes on… “And Jesus said to him, ‘ “If You can?” All things are possible to him who believes.'” (Mark 9:23 KJV) Jesus tells us flat-out, all things are possible! The condition on that possibility is belief, faith, trust in God that it WILL happen, not just that it CAN. In the next chapter of Mark, Jesus tells His disciples that “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” And Luke 1:37 says it the other way around, “For with God nothing shall be impossible,” (KJV) or as it says in the NIV, “For no word from God will ever fail.” Why are all things possible simply by our believing? Because we are a believing in a God who never fails.
And the second key to having faith? It is found in Romans 10:17, “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” (NKJV) Our faith comes by hearing His Word. When my faith is weak, I go to His word and read it. And just lately I’ve begun reading it out loud because of this verse. If the Bible says “faith comes by hearing” then I want to literally hear it with my ears as well as hearing it in my mind when I read silently. And at the same time our enemy is hearing the scripture I’m building my life on, and he’s getting the message to “back off” because this is where I stand!
I felt I was armed with little in the way of resources, so I made the decision to learn and understand, to read and to inquire, arm myself with information and pray. I would, I have, I do pray. A lot. In the beginning I asked my King to take it away. Upon reflection of my past behavior, that tends to be my go to with King, just take it away and then I do not have to deal with it. Clearly, I avoid conflict. Clearly He does not seek my counsel on what I think is best for me. When He does not honor said request, I then become angry, indignant, and attempt to give the King the silent treatment. This proves to be a futile effort, rudimentary in its effectiveness. Eventually faith and trust give way. I accept the is, and I make concerted efforts such as the ones laid out above.
Shelton, randomly just told me he loved Jesus and that was that. He isn’t such a big talker about it. He rarely gets emotional. Being the overly emotional and dramatic individual that I am, this is a concept I have difficulty with. As I listened to the radio that day the host divulged a fact about himself. He reported that he too was on the autism spectrum. He then debunked the entire theory that the individual in question could not have a relationship with Jesus. I ain’t even gonna lie here, I got out of my minivan elated, an extra pep in my step. Hope again prevailed and I carried on about my day a little lighter.
As I read through the list, my eyes stopped on a quote from The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Braum – “There’s no place like home.”
Another quote in this list came from Dr. Seuss in “The Lorax.” “Unless someone like you cares a whole lot, Nothing is going to get better. It’s Not.”
traveling when her kids were young. The family would stop at rest stops along the way. The kids would play on the playground and run in the grass. They thought the tall metal slides and squeaking chain swings were the most fun they could ever experience. When it came time to leave, the kids cried and protested. And my friend just stood there perplexed. She would tell them in frustration, “Don’t you know where we’re going? We’re heading to Disney World and you’re settling for an old rest stop playground.”
would we want those we love so much to stick around this broken, rusting place when Jesus has prepared a heavenly home for them? A home that eye has not seen nor ear heard.
Priceless 