Back to Basics: Quiet Time

January 9, 2017January 25, 20172 Comments

In my early twenties and fresh out of college, I was blessed to stumble upon a treasure of a book, Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund. Anne became my mentor. I have longed for years since then to find a woman I knew to mentor me, but what the Lord finally showed me was that this woman, her writings, were the guide God put in my hands along with His word and a few other books, to grow me up. I’ve re-read the book several times. I find the key concepts of Anne’s writing are so fundamental to my beliefs that I frequently teach them as I mentor young women today.

So, if you are like I was and can’t seem to find that flesh-and-blood mentor to have a cup of coffee and chat with, then grab a cup right now – I’ll take Green Mountain breakfast blend with one Truvia pack and 2 teaspoons of peppermint creamer – and join me for our first mentoring session!

While there are many areas of the spiritual life that need our attention, the 4 main ones we will focus on and their importance are clearly shown in The Wheel Illustration.

This illustration shows us the fundamentals of a well-rounded Christian life: Prayer & The Word – the ways we interact with God, and Witnessing & Fellowship – the ways we interact with people. If any one of these spokes is not being tended to or if Christ is not at the center of everything we do, we risk living an out of balance, wobbly life as we roll through our days here on earth; traveling with a flat tire so to speak.

The prime spiritual discipline that is the air our spirit breathes is a personal Quiet Time with God each day (built on Prayer and The Word). No matter your age, your spiritual growth and health is dependent upon this discipline. Your spiritual life will suffocate without daily time alone with your Father.

The Set Up.

Have a set place. (Mine is a cushy love seat in our living room.)
Have a set time. (30+/- minutes before you normally have to get up works well.)
Have the materials you need. (Listed in next paragraph)
Be consistent. (Commit to do this every day for a month and your time will be firmly established and easier to stick with.)

So how do you go about it? Simple. Grab your Bible, a pen, and a notebook. That’s all you need! God has promised to give His Spirit as your teacher (John 14:26).

Resting in the fact that a member of the Holy Trinity will be teaching you, this is

The Process.

Pray. Pray praising God, thanking Him, confessing sins, asking forgiveness, and interceding for others. Most importantly Pray for God to open the eyes of your heart to understand what He is teaching you through His written Word. (Phil.4:6-7)
Read a portion of scripture.
1. Get yourself on a Bible reading plan. Look over the options in the link. If you’re new to this, one or two verses a day may seem to be all you can take in without being overwhelmed. So you might want to start slowly cruising through the book of John or Philippians a few verses at a time.
2. Read with purpose. Don’t just read the words to check this off your list. Read trying to absorb what the scripture is saying. Ask yourself the 5 W’s and an H – Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How. Leave your reading time with the attitude that you want to be able to tell a friend about it later that afternoon.
Meditate on it listening for the truth God is teaching you. This may involve praying over portions. It may mean you read back through the passage very slowly, stopping every time you are curious and contemplating what the deeper meaning is. It may mean repeating a single verse of the passage over and over to begin to memorize it. Or you may personalize the scripture by putting your own name in it or turning it into a prayer. You may want to read the Word emphasizing different words to see a deeper meaning. Or read it looking for Biblical concepts or patterns and repetitions in the passage.
Journal your thoughts and prayers. Even if your time is limited as you scurry off to work, take your notebook and take a moment to journal one take away from the scripture. Maybe it’s a promise in scripture you want to cling to in the issues you are facing. Maybe it’s a command you realize you need to obey to please God. Whatever it is, jot it down. Then follow up with a written prayer to end your quiet time. It can be brief. But personally, I have found these prayers to be very revealing and healing. As I pray writing it out seeking God’s heart I often write truth I’d never realized before, blessings the Lord speaks into my heart, wisdom that crystalizes into a clear thought, or even tender loving words or words of reproof to myself. When we open a conversation with Him in prayer, God speaks back if we will just listen!
One process of Bible study is called Inductive Bible study. (Check out the link. More on this in another post.) Inductive reasoning is reasoning that derives general principles from specific observations. So inductive Bible Study hinges on deriving general life principles through diligently observing His Word, praying, and listening to what God quietly speaks to your spirit.

Thanks for the coffee! I loved our first mentoring session. So now that you know how to have an effective quiet time, I guess I’ll end with the Nike slogan “Just do it.” Blessings!

Holy Oatmeal

January 5, 2017January 5, 2017Leave a comment

One of my favorite authors often refers to the pot of oatmeal cooking on her stovetop during the early morning hours as her family prepares for their busy day running a farm. The way she describes the scene, the sounds of the low bubbling and the nurturing way she stirs in preparation of serving her family, has always drawn me to think that oatmeal is simply wonderful. Without a doubt, oatmeal must be the breakfast of wonderful people. I want to be one of those wonderful people.

I’ve heard that oatmeal is healthy too. Exactly.

Pondering this beautiful scene, I set out to create my own wonderful-ness this morning. I cooked oatmeal on my stovetop. I could literally sense the anticipation in my mouth, and my heart. This was going to be life-changing.

I carefully followed the directions on the side of the canister. The boiling and bubbling began. I decided to add a little butter. Then, I added a little brown sugar. After one little bite, I decided it needed a little – lot – more butter… and maybe a pinch – large pinch – or two – more of brown sugar. Oh it looked so pretty! I scooped some into my new big soup mug. Took a little bite… Then I thought maybe it needed a little vanilla… or perhaps some mini chocolate chips.

Are you following me here…?

After an exorbitant amount of butter, brown sugar, and more than several sprinkles of mini chocolate chips, I dove into a large spoonful.

Then, I decided that oatmeal is just NOT for me.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I like the idea of oatmeal. I like the idea of the warm bubbly nutritious good-for-your-heart-health breakfast.

But I don’t really…actually want to eat it… I just want a picture of it posted to my Instagram account, with my Bible in the background.

In his letter, the apostle Peter wrote these words: As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:14-16)

I so sincerely want to conduct myself in a holy manner. Correction: I like the idea of conducting myself in a holy manner. Because when I’m NOT hungry and tired, I really want to BE holy. When it’s NOT too late for the kids to still be awake, I really want to BE holy, to conduct myself in obedience. Not to mention when someone does NOT pull out in front of me and does NOT begin driving so very slowly in order to purposely ruin my life, I’m really thinking about BEING holy in my conduct. However, when I’m rested and healthy and cared for and my car is shiny fresh out of the carwash, I am especially in tune with holy conduct…

Really… I mean really?

Let me first say that I have been made holy, been made righteous by the precious blood of the Lamb; but walking worthy and being “holy in my conduct” is something I would prefer with butter, brown sugar, and mini chocolate chips on top.

Peter says to be as “obedient children” and to be holy in my conduct. He never mentions sweet and easy living.

I was made new in Christ for many things like precious freedom and sweet fellowship, but also obedience and holy living. By the power of the Holy Spirit, I desire to look like My Father, to conduct myself in a way that causes others to see Jesus Christ; therefore I’m called to a standard of living that is beyond my former desires.

I’m just glad Peter didn’t require oatmeal.

~~~~~

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:14-16

Happy New Year!

January 2, 2017January 2, 2017Leave a comment

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making away in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

As I write, it is October 28th. Gearing up for Halloween weekend here – church fall festival, costumes and candy. But since we plan this blog months ahead, I am catapulted into 2017.

What will the year hold for each of us? Will it be “The Best Year Ever!”? “The One That Nearly Did Me In”? Or just another year? There will be definite scheduled things you see coming now: You may graduate. Celebrate your child’s first birthday. Retire. Go on the mission field. Move to a new city. Get married…. And then there will be the unexpected things: Will you fall in love? Get transferred? Break up with the boyfriend? Bury a parent? Get your dream job? Experience serious illness? None of us know.

Life is a wild ride! Ups and downs, turbulence and smooth sailing. So are you up for the adventure? Or are you clinging to the status quo with white knuckles just hoping nothing very bad comes your way? Is there a way we can be prepared for these unexpected troubles that come our way? You know there is! I wouldn’t ask a question like that unless I was about to give you my wise answer! 😉

The way to be prepared for whatever comes our way, is to know and follow closely The Way, Jesus Christ.

Some of our goals here at Priceless blog that you can read on our “About” page are:

We hope to INSPIRE women to desire a deeper relationship with their Father God, to grow in the grace and knowledge of their Savior Jesus Christ, and to live a Spirit-filled life.

We commit to CHALLENGE women to study the Word of God, pray in faith, walk obediently as Christ-followers, and love and serve others around them just as Christ did.

We long to ENCOURAGE women as they daily experience the good times and even the mundane, but also the difficult times: the obstacles, the tragic, or the unknowns in life.

Hopefully, all our articles help women come to a deeper realtionship with the Lord. But in an effort to be intentional, instructional, and organized in this help, and in order to help you face the coming year ahead “clothed in strength and dignity,” we are trying something new over the next couple of months. Next Monday we will begin a discipleship series called Back to the Basics. It will consist of a series of articles that come out every other Monday on the foundational disciplines of walking with the Lord. It is for every age and every stage of life. We’ll cover topics like having a quiet time, reading the Bible, prayer and journaling, just to name a few. These topics are great for new believers and young Christians, but will also hopefully inspire the veteran Christian women. Also, we ask that you mature women would chime in on the replies and share tips and wisdom you have learned in your walk with Christ.

Following some spiritual disciplines in our lives will do several beneficial things for us on the road of life this year. First, our relationship with Christ will grow and flourish in ways that bless us deeply whatever our circumstances. As we come to know and love Him more through Bible study and prayer, we come to trust Him more, to understand His ways more, and to fear the future less. As our faith grows, we trust that we have a redeemer, a refuge, a defender, a guide, a savior, a healer, and a lover of our soul that carries us through every situation we encounter in life.

Second, we will develop habits that are good for our spiritual life. Having that organized quiet time, time in the word, prayer, etc. will carry us through the rough waters. We won’t wake up the morning after a crisis freaking out. We will wake up and go to our chair where we meet with God each day and spend time with Him, because that is our routine. And our hearts will receive peace and direction and wisdom for the issues of the day. That’s not to say that everything will be rosy; it’s to say that the God of all Hope has your back in every situation.

Third, we will change. We will become new. At salvation we are made a new creature. But the change does not end there. God is in the business of remaking us continually. All those self-help books get us nowhere in the long run. But a close and dynamic relationship with Christ rubs off those rough edges, sweeps out the hidden dirt, hammers out the dings, and shines up our tarnished places almost without us realizing it. His transforming work in our heart through the washing of His Word will cause us to become someone different, better.

Let me give you a guarantee. Walk faithfully following Christ and sticking with the spiritual disciplines presented to you through this series, and you will look back in 5 years (probably in only 1 year!) and say, “Wow! I can’t believe that was me back then. Look how He has changed me.” To re-word a Broadway lyric from Wicked, “I can say that I’ve been changed for the better. Because I knew Him, I have been changed for good!”

So on our journey this year, let’s seek Him daily. Let’s grow! Let’s live abundantly, faithfully! Let us not fear the future, but walk faithfully.

We ask that mature women would chime in on the replies and share tips and wisdom you have learned in your walk with Christ.

Do You KNOW?

December 29, 2016December 29, 2016Leave a comment

Pastors will often ask the question “Do you know that you know that you are saved and that you will go to heaven when you die?” I struggled with that question for many years. “Am I really sure?” “Did I say all the right things when I prayed the sinner’s prayer?” “Did I leave anything out?” I would sit in church services at invitation time and literally have a battle going on inside of me.

Recently, when our church had “Unashamed Sunday,” where people are invited to ask Jesus to be their savior and to be baptized that morning, I was reminded of those years of wondering and worrying and I rejoiced in the fact that I no longer toil over those questions. I DO know. YES! I have assurance of my salvation and I will go to heaven when I die. I no longer deal with those doubts.

I walked the church aisle when I was 13 years and I gave my heart to Jesus. I was baptized. I loved God’s word. I loved Bible study. I prayed. I wanted my life to reflect Christ. I lived my life as a Christ follower. But there was still that doubt that I couldn’t shake.

There came a point in life when I just needed to settle it. I didn’t want to say the sinner’s prayer again just to make sure. I wanted to KNOW. I began to look at what the Bible said about faith and salvation. I wrote scripture on cards and reminded myself what God’s word said. I kept the cards close and anytime doubt showed up I used the WORD of God to confirm my faith.

Romans 10:9-10 – Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. Yes! I did that many years ago.

I familiarized myself with verses about faith and learned the definition of faith. Faith- complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

I John 1:9- If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Ephesians 2:8- For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

Hebrews 11:1– Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Salvation comes from Jesus Christ alone through accepting the free gift of his blood sacrifice for our sins. Confess, repent and believe. We don’t have do the right things, or say the right prayer. We don’t earn it because it’s not of works. “We must personally and fully rely on the death of Christ as the atoning sacrifice for our sins… The faith God requires of us for salvation is belief in what the Bible says about who Jesus is and what He accomplished and fully trusting in Jesus for that salvation[1].” Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. The word of God, when I took hold of it every time a doubt entered my mind, cleared up any question of my salvation. It CONFIRMED my salvation.

The enemy would have us to walk in fear and doubt regarding Jesus and salvation. He can rob us of peace and assurance if we allow him to. But Jesus comes that we may have LIFE. And have it abundantly. When we accept Jesus as our savior through faith, we are HIS! We are sealed as His until that day that we get to see Him face to face. HE paid the price and we can’t add a thing to it.

“ For I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that day what has been entrusted to me.” 2 Tim. 1:12

[1] https://gotquestions.org/definition-of-faith.html

Superficial

December 26, 2016December 26, 2016Leave a comment

As I studied and spent time with the Lord about what to write on – the word “superficial” kept speaking to my spirit. Let’s first see what this term means.

Superficial is “something occurring only at the surface; it appears to be true or real ONLY until examined more closely.” This very thing constantly happens through conversations, and friendships… relationships in general!

Why Is This???

As I reached out on social media to inquire about this question, these are some of the common answers I received:

“It’s ‘easier’ to pretend and not let people in…”
“Lack of accountability–Quantity versus Quality…”
“People can’t handle a ‘real’ one…”
“Too busy to invest…”
“Selfishness— doesn’t want to put that much time and work in…”
“Fear—Fear of getting hurt or being betrayed–past experiences…”
“In a comfortable circle–don’t feel that they need others…”

I can relate to every one of these answers as I look back on my journey of being a friend or needing a friend. I think we have allowed such busyness into our lives, we don’t stop for ourselves and others to truly allow genuine conversations to take place any longer. Due to past experiences and failed friendships, we would rather isolate ourselves completely or just keep it “easy” so we don’t have to get too deep either to or for someone else.

Let’s look at a few scriptures…

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at ALL time, and a brother is born for adversity.” This takes friendships to a whole new level – good times and rough times!

Proverbs 16:28 “A dishonest man (woman) spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.”

The good news is that His Word tells us in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” God has given us that same love so we can extend it to one another. We hold that very power! The power to walk amongst this world with all the things of this life swirling around us, including the struggles, and make time to SHOW love and BE love. You see, Jesus was intentional with his relationships during his time on this earth. Sure, he couldn’t share a deep devotion with many he came in contact with, but he shared his heart, his hurt, and his experiences among several friends. In reading the Word, it is very evident that John was a special friend as well as Lazarus. God appointed disciples around Jesus to walk with him, share with him, and learn from him. Who has God placed in your life? To share with, to live and learn with? Step out! Take a risk! Employ your faith! If we all dwelt on past hurt, how could God’s plan and purpose be accomplished in and through us?

Hebrews 10:22-25 reveals a challenge, “Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Time is running OUT!!!

Over this holiday season,open your eyes and hearts to who God has currently placed in your life and be intentional with your conversations. Engage in the relationship with more than just a “superficial” approach. Be deliberate in how you pierce beyond the layers of small talk to really being there for that person and allowIng them and you to be REAL about some things that are going on. Examine one another. Encourage one another through verbalizing struggles. Praise them for who they are. Motivate them in their purpose.

In your life, this may pertain to friends – it may even pertain to your close family. Don’t get caught up in the hustle and bustle of busyness. Be the friend God called you to be-Trust Him!

Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. – Hebrews 10:24

Merry Christmas!

December 25, 2016December 22, 2016Leave a comment

Luke 2:1-20 (The Message)

“About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David’s town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.

While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.

There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God’s angel stood among them and God’s glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, ‘Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.’

At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:

‘Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.’

As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. ‘Let’s get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us.’ They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed.

Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they’d been told!”

From all of us to each of you… Wishing you a truly blessed holiday season as you worship the Savior!

The Gift of the Magi

December 22, 2016December 22, 2016Leave a comment

Sometime during junior high I read O. Henry’s short story “The Gift of the Magi” and I fell in love with it. I vividly remember the day in that high-ceilinged, chalk-dusty room when we first started reading it. I assumed it would be about baby Jesus and the wise men. When it wasn’t, I was intrigued. Why that name for the story, I pondered? To this day that tale of the great love of Jim and Della and the sacrifices they made to buy presents for each other is one of my favorite short stories and is foundational in my character. I think of it often and use it as an example or lesson here and there. In fact, it was one of those behavior-changing stories for me. In college, when my newly wed husband and I were totally broke, the memory of that story challenged me so much, that I sold my highschool class ring to buy my husband a present for our first anniversary. If you haven’t already read the tale, now would be a good time. It takes about 5 minutes. Here’s the link. My Christmas gift to you! Knowing the story will give you some background for this blog article. Plus, you’ll love it!

So tonight as I sit alone under the glow of my Christmas tree lights in a silent house, I’m pondering this heart-warming story. The Biblical Magi gave gifts to the baby Jesus and this secular tale is a story about gift-giving; that is the basic reason behind the title (which I did figure out by the end of the story that first day as I read). But so much more is bubbling through my thoughts. Where is my heart this Christmas? What are my motives in gift-giving? Do I love well? Other than with my family, am I really generous at heart? Am I a Magi? I would like to be.

The scriptural Magi, the wise men, set out to follow a star to find and worship the newborn King of the Jews. They went through lengthy, difficult travels – no SUV with AC and a DVD to occupy the kids, stopping at fast food restaurants and well-manicured rest areas any time they needed a break. NO. Their trek involved days of preparations (if not weeks), taking with them all the food and animals, and animal fodder, and water, and clothing and whatever else they might need for a long journey to an unknown destination. Whoa! What a task. And all that work just to worship!

In your life, are you even on the journey? Or would you have been one of the thousands of “un-wise” men who didn’t bother to go search for Him?

Those Magi of old found the Babe, the Christ. The first thing they did was to worship Him. Is this our first reaction to Christ? To bow and worship? And what did they do after they worshipped? That’s the part we hear of the most. Springing out of their worship, they gave Him gifts. That’s why we give gifts today to celebrate Christ’s birth, because gifts were brought to Him at His birth and because the heavenly Father gave us this greatest gift of all – a Savior born in a manger.

If you’re on the journey, are you a diligent, whatever-it-takes wise man preparing to worship Him? Or would you have been an “un-wise” man milling around Bethlehem with a complacent “hmm-a star-meh” attitude?

I recently noticed something in scripture that I’d never really thought about. They opened their treasures and gave Him gifts out of their treasures. Do we bring gifts to Him out of our treasures? Or do we give him something cheap to us? Do we offer the thrift store present? Or re-gift him with the free one from last year’s Christmas party that we didn’t want? Or wrap up a happy meal toy that’s still in the plastic?

Would you have been a wise man who stood up to King Herod and proceeded undeterred to worship the true King? Or are you more of an “un-wise” man whose faith gets strangled out by the cares of the world or side-tracked by any opposition or fiery trial you face?

What do I treasure? My husband. My children. My home. My possessions. My job. My time. My plan for my life…. Have I given Him those things I value the most? Just a reminder in the words of Jim Elliot, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”

Facing all sorts of difficulties, would you have been one of the few who actually made it to the manger to see the Son of God? Or are you today one of the “un-wise” ones always wishing you could experience Jesus the way “she” does and just a bit jealous that you don’t, yet unwilling to put out the effort to get you past the obstacles and to the Christ? It doesn’t just happen. It takes effort on your part. How many times have you bumped into the President as you rolled your trash can to the street while wearing your robe on a random Thursday morning? Doesn’t happen. Ladies, if we wish to experience the Christ with other wise men, we must gather our goods, load our camels, and travel long journeys. We must diligently prepare to worship Him. Set our hearts on Him. Be willing to pay a high price. Spend time and effort on our own in the Word.

In The Gift of the Magi, Jim and Della gave the things they valued most – the treasured watch and her glorious hair. They sacrificed these things because they loved so deeply. Out of their scarcity they found a way to give. Just like the widow at the temple who gave only two mites (1/5 of a cent each) but was praised by Jesus for giving more than all the others because she had given all that she had, her treasure.

Where do we stand ladies? Do we give to the Father out of our abundance (because we should) or out of our treasure (because we love deeply)? It is never foolish to love lavishly and give prodigally. Scripture tells us that we love because He first loved us. The more we live in the Father’s love, the more our love will grow. The more we love the Father, the more we will love people around us. Even the ones that are hard to love. And the more we give to our Heavenly Father, the more we will show generosity to the world around us. Wise “men,” let’s hold our treasure sack loosely and draw out our costly gifts generously. Let us be like the wise men of old. Let’s be like Jim & Della. Let’s be modern-day Magi.

Grief at the Holidays

December 19, 2016January 12, 20182 Comments

I feel like the worst daughter ever! I cry when I remember.

I was not present for my mother’s last Christmas day here on earth. There. I said it. Judge me harshly. Go ahead. I have judged myself over and over in despair and nothing can change it or bring it back.

**********

It’s been 2 years now.

After a very hard year and a half of walking through increasingly horrible Parkinson’s dementia with Mom, my husband and kids encouraged me to take a trip to Texas to visit his sister’s family that would have us away from home on Christmas day. With work schedules what they were, that was the only time we could visit them.

At first I resisted vehemently. No! How could I leave my mother?! She needs me. I kept thinking, What if this is her last Christmas?

But after a trip to the neurologist and a change in meds Mom started getting back to her normal self. Hope returned. She seemed to be getting better for a few weeks. During this lucid phase, I mentioned talk of a trip to her and she said, “Yes. Go. We can celebrate before you leave.” And when I talked to my brother and family about it, they readily agreed to have her with them that day. So I made the choice. Somewhat reluctantly I began to prepare for the big trip to Dallas.

The Saturday before Christmas we got together with Mom for our Christmas celebration. Dinner, presents, laughs. It was nice. She was doing well. She was pretty much herself that night. Spirits were good. The trip was on. The next day my dear husband, the kids and I pulled out early for the 10 hour trip. It was great weather and I felt relieved to be free from the constraints of the past several months. A change of scenery would do me good.

It had been a grueling time of almost weekly medical appointments, sometimes several times a week. Mom’s decline had been coming more rapidly. I had been making from one to several trips a day to be with her, to coax her to eat and try to make her take her medicine. Many times I ended up spending the night or several nights in her apartment at her assisted living to try to console her. My year had been consumed by little things like forgetfulness, incontinence, and struggles for her to maintain balance and feed herself; big things like the falling which resulted in several late night calls, and trips to the emergency room; and really huge, tragic things like a stay in the geriatric psychiatric ward of the hospital, her fearful hallucinations of fire and flood and murder and abduction, her paranoia that the people who cared for her were out to get her, and the constant delusions that nothing I said, no rational argument, could convince her not to fret over. Tears and the Lord were my two constant companions.

But now I was leaving all that behind for a bit. As each mile rolled by on our trip, my spirit lightened. I called Mom several times and she sounded normal, not confused at all. Thank you, Lord! We had a restful, joyful, family centered few days of Christmas celebrations with my sister-in-law’s family. My brother called on Christmas day and I got to talk to Mom who was still doing great. We made it home with no catastrophes and all my worries were put to rest! I felt rejuvenated.

**********

Sadly, Mom’s short Christmas turn around didn’t last much past the new year and the old symptoms grew worse again. Medicine changes seemed to help for shorter and shorter periods as her condition progressed. Her decline was on a downhill slope picking up speed, and a week after we enjoyed her last Mother’s Day together, she passed away.

I never thought grief would so consume me. I had a strong relationship with the Lord. I believed that life and death were in His hands. I was very practical. But all that was before my mother died. The one person who had always known me was no longer there. Suddenly I was an orphan. My own mortality was staring me in the face. It was a very hard year. Summer and fall came and went. Then the holidays hit! I felt blind-sided. All I could do was cry. Every conversation with my girls ended in tears. I couldn’t make myself get out of the house or do anything. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think straight, and I hurt all over. Was this grief?! I never realized!

That was only last year.

What a difference a year makes! This year hope has returned to this sad heart. So may I encourage your grieving heart? Looking back here are some things that helped, although at the time I didn’t want to do them and didn’t think they would help.

Read a book on the stages of grief or you may think you’re going crazy! Somewhere in the aftermath of Mom’s death I acquired a little book called Good Grief. I refused to read it for the longest. When I finally broke down and read it months later I was shocked how accurate it was. I was thinking I was going crazy and dying. Seriously. When I read in that little book that physical pain is one of the things a person experienced in grief, I was shocked and relieved. There were many other things that helped me realize what I was going through was normal.

Keep practicing the spiritual habits you have established in your life as much as possible. Go to church. Read your Bible. Pray, even when you feel you can’t put coherent thoughts into words. God seemed far away some days, but I’ve since realized that He wasn’t. He was just hidden from my view by a thick gray veil of grief. I did miss church more during that first year after Mom’s death, but loving family members pushed me to go if I missed more than 1 week at a time and I relented and went, because I knew it was just because they cared.

Carry on holiday traditions that you did with that family member in the past. You’ll cry and it will hurt, but it will be bittersweet. It will be healing to your heart. I made Mom’s specialties for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners that year. I could hardly eat them, but they were there. And with them it seemed like a little part of her was in our celebrations. Cooking was her thing. VLUU L200 / Samsung L200

Talk about your lost loved one. That hurts too, but it helps. We sat around and told “remember when” stories. We drug out the Memory Jar I had given Mom 15 years earlier that was full of little cards with old memories written on them, and we read and cried and laughed and felt comfort in reliving the joys of Mom’s life.

Look for joy (even in the little things). I was so grateful for a dear old highschool friend who sent me a Christmas card specially written to acknowledge this first Christmas without Mom! What a huge thing that was. What joy (through tears of course) it brought. But there were many tiny things that brought joy that I chose not to let slip past. Listening to Christmas carols and watching the twinkling lights of my tree. Playing a board game with the family. Allowing myself to laugh at things that would have amused my mom. Seeing my grandson’s eyes lighting up at the sight of the Christmas tree.

Put up a tree for Christmas! It was a burden. I just wanted to skip it that year. It only got half the ornaments it normally does. But it brought light and joy and peace to dark nights. I was glad I did.

Hug the people dearest to you, snuggle and share tender moments just because you still have them. The gift that the death of a loved one brings with it is a heightened awareness of making the most of the time you have with others who are still living. Don’t squander those times even if some relationships are difficult or awkward. You will never regret reaching out and expressing yourself. Trying to, even in a tough relationship, keeps the regrets of “if only” and “why didn’t I” away.

I hope you have a blessed Christmas and experience the hope of Christ in the midst of your grief. Here’s a sweet song that an old friend posted on social media recently. It is comforting for those of us who are spending Christmas without someone dear to us.

Enjoy the music! Different Kind of Christmas

Keeping the Plates Spinning at Christmas

December 15, 2016December 15, 20161 Comment

As I rounded the corner into the church parking lot on two wheels, I was feeling anything but full of the Christmas spirit. It was December 4th, and already I could sense the holiday season driving me. It had been a wild week. Husband out-of-town for 5 days on a project. Taking care of the grandkids each afternoon – one running a fever and feeling especially grumpy from the medication. Doing the Christmas parade alone with the 2 grandsons when that one was sick – what was I thinking?! Keeping a blog running during an intensely busy time. Carrying on consistently with my book writing project. Christmas shopping barely started. Last 2 months of preparations for a women’s conference – ordering, finalizing, securing the right people and equipment. Plus the daily necessary stuff to keep the house running.

And this particular Sunday… Up and getting ready. Oversleeping grandkids. The unexpected message of the passing of a dear friend’s mother. Scheduled to teach LifeGroup that day so we had to go in 2 cars. Only time for two sips of coffee. Downpour of rain as I drive up to church. Books to get to a friend. Teach class. Worship – the one calm focused hour and a half of the day. Dash home to leftovers for lunch – and whining because “I didn’t want that.” Last load of laundry to send the grands home with a bag full of clean clothes. Last minute edit on a document for a planning meeting. Out the door. Christmas open house at one of my dearest friend’s home. Trying to get the grandbabes to their parents. Planning meeting for the women’s conference at the same time Papa had deacon’s meeting. A message from our leader who needed something printed out for the meeting. Back home. Open the email – no file attached. Texts. New e-mail. Print 4 copies and staple. Back in the car to head to church and the “Low Fuel” light is on. When I finally wheeled into my parking space I was exhausted. My Fitbit said I already had 6,000 steps and it was only mid-afternoon.

Ok – enough of my whining…

This is just My story of the holidays this year. What’s yours? Are you feeling like the man at the circus with 14 plates spinning on various parts of his body? Feeling like you just can’t keep it all spinning and remain sane?

Well sweet friends, this is just the corner our enemy loves to back us into. We are in a season of great joy, yet we feel dry and tired. We are in a season of great giving, but it begins to feel like a chore instead of a joy to give. We are in the best season to share the perfect love of the Father with a desperate world, however, that enemy of our souls has a battle plan to keep us so busy that we have no time, energy, or even thought to spread the good news while hearts are open to hear it.

I’m ready to put on my warrior’s clothes and fight that nasty enemy! How about you? As I sit here in the calm after the storm at 11:47 p.m. – the rush over, the house quiet, the kitty purring at my feet, perspective comes. So as I type I am formulating my own battle plan.

I choose not to do anything during the holidays just because some social structure says I ought too. I don’t have to bake Christmas cookies. I don’t have to spend a penny. I don’t have to send Christmas cards. I don’t have to have a perfect house, ready for a visitor at the drop of a hat at the expense of my family. I don’t have to do Elf on th Shelf just because I did it last year. I don’t have to go to every party I’m invited to. I don’t have to get a Hatchimal just because media is proclaiming it as THE hot toy of the year. And neither do you! What are you feeling you HAVE to do due to outside pressure? Let me free you – you don’t have to do anything. You really don’t. Those external pressures bring stress and frustration. Choose wisely and be intentional in what you want to do. Do whatever you choose because it fulfills your goals for your life and your aspirations to be a Godly woman – NOT because you’ve bought into a message that you should do it. Who gives someone else the power to tell you that you should do anything? And what are their credentials? The “wise” media? The competitive young mother you know? The well-meaning family member? “They”? Who are these “they” anyway that are always the ones telling us what to do? “You know, they say you should….”
I choose Christ to be in my Christmas. I choose not to just tip my hat to Him and have token “Happy Birthday Jesus” cakes and ceramic manger scenes and rush on by those tokens ignoring the real Christ. Instead I choose to see the people rushing by
me and to verbally testify of Him in little and big ways every moment He presents me with an opportunity. I choose to soak in His Word and to absorb the Biblical accounts of all things surrounding the birth of Christ, to study and learn, and seek to find new truths through them that I’ve never seen before. To become re-enamored with the Lover of My Soul. I choose to count my personal, intimate, passionate relationship with Christ as more important than any substitute the enemy dangles before me. What about you?
I choose to start my mornings with worship of the Savior we are celebrating. Every morning. At least 10 minutes just singing praise, praying, and thanking Him. I choose to get my focus on Him first thing in the morning above all else because He is my love. AND I choose to end my day worshipping Him too. Meditating on His word in the precious quiet of twinkling lights and evergreen scent and praying, singing, celebrating, allowing my soul time to feel, time to long for Him above all the glittery things around me. How about you?
I choose to carry on traditions that foster these things: joy in Him, growth in my relationship with Him, sharing Christ’s good news with those around me, strengthening bonds with family and friends, or magnifying and glorifying the Christ. Things like reading the Christmas story by candlelight with my kids on Christmas Eve and donating coats at my church for the homeless and Christmas caroling with songs that sing the story of the Christ-child and packing Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes. What traditions do you choose and why?
I choose to live out the Golden Rule during these holidays: Do to others what you would have them do to you. I choose to be genuinely aware of needs around me, to slow down and take time to notice strangers and offer the love, help, and prayer our hungry world is starving for. I choose to treat my family well and not like they are a bother because I am busy. In short, I choose to give to those around me what I wish I was receiving (and I may), but even if I receive nothing.

So this Christmas are you ready to drop the plates? To give up? When we quit spinning the things that don’t matter we usher in peace, real joy, authentic love, time to relate to those we love, time to share Jesus, and time to meet needs we see. What better gifts can we give ourselves and those in our homes? What better gifts can we bring Christ than our full attention, wholehearted devotion, and empty schedules that He gets to fill in as He sees fit? So girls, grab a fresh calendar. Start off with what really matters and see what Christ does to reshape your Christmas chaos!

Tell the Story

December 12, 2016December 12, 2016Leave a comment

People can deny Christ, dispute Scripture and ignore prophecy, but they cannot deny, dispute or ignore God’s transformational power in someone’s life. –Tracie Miles, Proverbs 31 Ministries

It’s that time of year again. The time when we gather together with family and friends to give thanks and celebrate the arrival of the baby who would save the world. For many, it’s a joyful time, full of anticipation and excitement. For others, it’s a time of dread, full of anxiety and angst. I’ve found myself on both sides of the holiday conundrum. But I recently read a story about a wise father-in-law and a humble son-in-law and got some insight into how to make even the toughest holiday get-togethers a bit more hopeful.

I come from a mixed bag of nominal Christians, agnostics, and atheists. I never knew what it was to talk about Jesus or the Bible at family gatherings. I grew up with the understanding that you didn’t talk about faith to others. Faith was something private, like your political views. So when my family got together with extended family, there was this strange camaraderie of silence on the important stuff of life. Conversation was lively and fun, but without much substance. Don’t get me wrong, my family was loving and kind. But without acknowledging the greatest Love, there was always something missing, and as a follower of Christ I always felt compelled and constrained. Compelled to speak the truth; yet constrained by opening a Pandora’s box of controversy and anger and offense–good-bye happy holiday memories.

As the years have gone by, and extended family gatherings have become a rare event, I’ve searched for a place of grace. A place where I could use these moments to love my family without neglecting to speak of the greatest Love in my life. Then I read the story of Moses and Jethro and I found some key principles to making the holiday gathering purposeful.

The story of Moses and Jethro is at an odd place in the Bible. It’s directly after the Israelite’s victory over the Amalekites thanks to Moses’s outstretched arms to God (with some help from Aaron and Hur), and God’s declaration that He was the banner over His people. And directly before the declaration of the Mosaic Covenant in Exodus 19. It’s almost as if the Holy Spirit set the pause button to give us a glimpse into the daily life of these wandering peoples.

In the story, Jethro reunites Moses with this wife, Jethro’s daughter, and their two sons. We know a few things about Jethro. Besides being Moses’s father-in-law, he is introduced in Exodus 2 and the first verses of Exodus 18 as a priest of Midian. He has seven daughters, and he welcomed a “stranger from a strange land” into his family. We can infer from our interaction with Jethro that he was generous and kind and that he loved Moses. And we can tell from Exodus 18:7 that Moses respected and loved his father-in-law.

As we begin the story, Jethro says he had “heard of all that God had done for Moses and for Israel his people, how the Lord had brought Israel out of Egypt.” (18:1) As Jethro entered the camp, he was warmly welcomed by Moses and they spent the evening catching up on the events of the people of God. Can you imagine that conversation? Moses himself telling the story of the exodus and the parting of the Red Sea. What we do know is after Moses “told his father-in-law all that the Lord had done to Pharaoh and to the Egyptians for Israel’s sake, all the hardship that had come upon them in the way, and how the Lord had delivered them.” Jethro did a few things:

He REJOICED in all the good that the Lord had done to Israel. (v. 9)

He BLESSED the Lord. (v. 10)

He CLAIMED allegiance to the one true God. (v. 11)

He SACRIFICED burnt offerings to God. (v. 12)

When Jethro came to visit Moses, he’d heard of God’s goodness. But after talking to Moses and hearing his story of God’s deliverance, HE KNEW GOD.

So how do we take this phenomenal interaction of Jethro and Moses and translate it to the contemporary holiday table?

Listen closely. James tells us to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to become angry. Before Moses spoke of the deliverance of Israel, he asked Jethro about his welfare. He genuinely wanted to hear how his father-in-law was doing. Listening is one of the most tender, compassionate ways we can intentionally love our family.

Speak honestly. Moses spoke freely of God’s deliverance and His goodness. And He didn’t leave out the difficult stuff. When we share our lives as followers of Christ, we often believe we need to sugarcoat our struggles. As if we’re trying to protect God, or make following Him more palatable or pleasing. Truth is, being a follower of Christ isn’t easy. We suffer hardship. We walk through stinky circumstances. Basically, we live a real life. But we also serve a real God who gives us hope in the hard places and replaces despair with peace and sadness with unexplainable joy. When we speak truthfully about our lives and about our God, when we tell our own story of deliverance, then HE gets the glory and HE becomes the focus, not us or our circumstances. And a suffering world needs to hear that there is hope.

Speak gently. 1 Peter 3:15 tells believers to always be prepared to give a reason for the hope that we have, but to share that hope with gentleness and respect. We are not called to badger or argue anyone into the kingdom of God. We are called to honor others above ourselves and consider others better than ourselves. Remembering that a gentle answer turns away wrath is vital for weathering a potentially tempestuous holiday conversation.

Speak boldly. Moses was not afraid to speak of all God had done. One of my biggest obstacles is timidity. I worry that I’m going to offend someone. I’m worried I won’t be able to answer a question or a retaliation. But Paul speaks to this fear and his words have become my constant prayer, “To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel.” Ephesians 6:19

My prayer for you and your family, whether you celebrate with a family of Christ followers, or whether you celebrate with a mixed bag of wonderful creations who simply don’t know their Creator yet, is a joy-filled, Christ-focused holiday season. Listen closely, speak honestly, gently, and boldly of all that Jesus has done and is doing for you. The reality of His goodness and His salvation is definitely worth a celebration!!

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