Everyone with me sends you greetings. Greet those who love us in the faith. Grace be with you all. ~ Titus 3:15

I love to send Christmas Cards!

As I finished my Christmas Cards tonight, I was reminded of helping to get Christmas cards ready as a child. I can remember my Daddy addressing Christmas Cards when I was a little girl. He was the main letter writer of our family. This was long, long before email. Snail mail was the only way to connect with family and friends. My daddy had a brown leather address book that had the names and addresses of all of the family along with birth dates and phone numbers. The address book contained his beautiful handwriting. He was very careful to keep this precious book up to date. He would address cards to family members and then to friends. Some received a hand written note. He had this wonderful ink pen that no one was allowed to use. He had worked the point to exactly the way he wanted it. When he completed each  card he would call me into the dining room where he was writing the cards. He would tell me to stick out my tongue to lick the flap of the envelopes. I always thought that was fun. Then I would lick the stamp and place it on the front of the envelope. Postage was 4 cents that year.

Life has certainly changed just as Christmas cards have changed through the years. The envelopes come with those little strips that you pull off of the flap to keep from having to lick them. Stamps are 50 cents and have a self adhesive backing so they don’t have to be licked anymore. Even with all of the changes the sentiment on the card it still the same. Merry Christmas! Peace on Earth! Joy to the World! Jesus is Born! So why do I send Christmas cards when I can just post Merry Christmas on Facebook. I just can’t get away from my address book. All those precious people who have crossed my path. Yes, I have an address book in my phone but there is something about that precious book that holds the names and addresses of my family and the friends who touch my life. As I addressed my cards I had the opportunity to share a memory about each person or family and to reflect why they were special enough to have a place in my address book. I also had the opportunity to remember those whose names had been gently crossed through because they have gone to be with the Lord. Each card I addressed has been handled with care and a prayer spoken for each one who would receive a special card. For each name in my address book, I love and appreciate you all year-long, but especially at Christmas when your name is lovingly transferred to the front of a Christmas card with tender care.

We have a standing rule in our house, when it is your birthday you get to choose the activities for the day. This past Birthday for the lone Male child yielded an unusual request, however in the context of Shelton it wasn’t so unusual.

I should probably preface with – prior to the request I had lost my keys, my purse, and was running half an hour behind for church. I hadn’t yet lost my cool but I was indeed perturbed

When the Birthday Boy asked to attend “big church” citing “We can make it there by the second service and we won’t be late.” I said yes. We made our way there and sent a text to Dad letting him know where we were and to our surprise he made it in time to take a saved seat just in time for the first song. As the Worship set progressed with words of reckless love and love unparalleled the song set shifted to an old hymn.

I sang it as if it hadn’t literally been decades since I had sung it. Standing next to my family in the tiny white church that I grew up and was married in, the lyrics came back to me with such clarity that I knew immediately what the next line was. I closed my eyes and immediately realized, deep within me those words resonated with me. I have always wondered why I refer to Jesus as “King.” He is my King and I adore Him but just never quite figured that out about myself. Yet there I was singing:

“Crown Him with many crowns, the lamb upon the throne.”

‘’He has been King to me a long time, and that must have been cemented in me when I was much younger and much shorter.

I realized in that moment with my Birthday Boy on one side and my Husband on the other, that for me, the Word of God which I quote to myself often had come full circle.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

I often quote this verse to myself, to remind me to persevere in the training and raising of my own children. Yet, there in that moment the King let me see that declaration of His Kingship and royalty had never left me even in my old age. If anything, it had only grown deeper and been more solidified with time.

Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return. Luke 6:38

It was dark outside, the upcoming time change evident. It had been an excruciatingly long day. We were headed toward home, yet the to-do list loomed ahead. The questions from the back seat had begun to come with a regularity that accompanies uncertainty and hunger.

“Are we about to eat supper? We haven’t eaten supper yet.”
I decided to engage the source of the questions rather than attempting to dodge them.

“As soon as we get home we are going to have supper. Did you like your lunch today? The Chicken-salad wrap?”

“Yes ma’am! It was SO good!”

“I’m glad, I thought maybe I had added too much salt when I made it. I’m glad you liked it.”

“It was so good I didn’t even share it. I mean I did share part of my lunch but not that part.”

I was a tad concerned, whenever kids are involved, eating allergies are always in the forefront of my mind. “Um, who did you share your lunch with, and what did you share with them?”

“Nolan. We all shared our lunches with him. He only had a bag of chips and I gave him two rice Krispy treats and two goldfish packs – you know those are his favorite next to blue Doritos, Somebody gave him cookies, Oreos..and..I can’t remember what else but he said ‘thank you’ and he was ‘all full.’ ”

I giggled at that one. In my head I responded. “Full. After all that… I bet he was. That sounds like a Carb load for a giant about to run 26.2 miles”

As we meandered down the road another voice from the darkness of the backseat. The deep male voice spoke up.

“Well, Heath gave me one of his tacos. He said I could have it if I wanted. It was JUST like I like it too! A Taco-Bell one with the soft sides and only the meat and cheese! It was SO good! And I have been wanting one of those for a while”

I giggled again. In a completely different lunch room, at the same time one Martin was giving and one was receiving.

I was immediately reminded of the early church, the one in the book of Acts, Chapter 4:

There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold, and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. (34-35)

Those Lunch Sharers and Receivers are studying the Book of Acts in Bible Study, and as they came together for most of their (admittedly) favorite part of the day, they literally lived it out. I giggled as I thought about the distribution of the gold-fish shaped crackers and a leftover Taco-Bell taco; how the distribution differed from the aforementioned Infant Church one, yet so very similar in genuineness and generosity that there was no one left hungry or wanting, because in the Spirit of the King and in the Spirit of sharing all were taken care of.

Those of us who are Christ Followers are called to “Not grow weary in doing good” (Galatians 6:9), and “To share bread with the hungry” (Isaiah 58:7). I believe that the King blesses us so that we may bless others. (Genesis 12:2)

There is an old adage that says something to the effect that children learn not what we say, but by what we do. I suppose in the instance of the Lunch Room that particular day, those children had learned by what they had seen and by what they had read.

Everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher. Luke 6:40

 

“Siri, where is the nearest gas station?”

“Alexa, where can I rent a tux nearby?”

We live in an information age where all we have to do is ask our nearest smart device for help. We have our own personal machines that give us directions, find us new places for food and entertainment, and answer questions that make life less complicated.

If only Alexa could answer questions like How should I resolve this conflict with my relatives? or Can you help me not to fall apart emotionally over this tragedy? or Who can I turn to to rescue me from this mess? or How can I have the inner character to deal with the things life throws at me? or the greatest question of all What will happen when I die or someone close to me does? 

Siri and Alexa fall short when it comes to our deepest human needs. A Facebook post draws many hearts and promises of prayer, but seldom comes close to offering the guidance we need in those times of confusion or devastation.

So what’s a girl to do on this Journey through life when tough times come?

We have a personal navigator available to us. In fact, if we are a child of the King, this navigator is very personal, He lives inside us. First Corintians 6:19 tells us:

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” 

We have a helper for The Journey, our own personal Siri, the Holy Spirit. One who has all the answers, every time. And One who has implanted within us things to help us before we ever ask – things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

You say, “But I have no patience.” I beg to differ with you. As a child of God with the Holy Spirit living in you, there are within each of us these fruit listed above. Our problem is we haven’t bothered to nourish and water these traits. We ignore the Spirit’s promptings and impatiently or hatefully or greedily push on ahead instead of acting on the gentle tuggings of His Spirit within. The fruit sits inside our heart of hearts with the Holy Spirit shriveled and unused. We need to become as quick at accessing the Holy Spirit as we are at accessing Alexa or info on our smart phones. Romans 8:5 reminds us of this truth:

“Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.”

At times on our Journey we feel weak and helpless. We wander in indecision, doubt or fear. Later on in Romans 8 God’s Word says,

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

We are not alone! We have a helper – a strong helper. We aren’t left to wander in our confusion and unanswered questions. Not sure of the direction to take? Ask God. Not sure you can handle the situation? Ask God. Not sure you even know what to pray? His Spirit will step in and pray for us. How many times have I only been able to choke out the simple prayer, “Lord! Help me. Please!” And that opened the door for the Spirit to do the rest. Oswald Chambers says, “the Holy spirit Himself prays prayers in us which we cannot utter ourselves. … He expresses for us the unutterable.” (My Utmost For His Highest, Nov. 8)

God’s Spirit dwells in us. Is he an honored guest in your world or a forgotten stranger holed up in a back room?

I love what Paul has to say about the Holy Spirit of God in 1 Corinthians 2:10-16:

The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ. 

God’s Spirit searches us.

He knows the thoughts of God and reveals them to us. (Wow!)

Through Him we have the mind of Christ.

As you head out on your Journey of life today, don’t forget to access your personal navigator. Listen to Him closely. Trust His directions. He will guide your Journey even when the road ahead seems unclear. And He’ll answer questions and meet needs along the way.

Enjoy the Journey!

A Story for One of “Those Days”

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

It was more for me than for them that day. I had managed to run late, damage the underneath parts of an already tired ol’ minivan, missed breakfast, needed gas in the husband’s substitute unfamiliar vehicle, forgot important paraphernalia, said a profanity or two, and I was hanging on by a shred of a thread.

So when I said to them as we attempted to make our way down the road, “Ok guys let’s pray.” I knew immediately it was more for me than them. As they each said their prayers, each as unique as they are I immediately began to feel better. The feelings of inadequacy, condemnation, and guilt were beginning to dissipate.

As I began to petition the King I prayed that he would freely give “Grace upon Grace upon Grace.” I was asking Him to pour out that Grace without hesitation or reservation. I immediately began to hear giggling. An attempt at muffling the laughter proved ineffective. It got louder, and before I could close out our prayers with an amen the muffled giggles were spilling out with such fervor that I stopped short of amen and said,

“What May I ask, is so funny?”

“Grace upon Grace upon Grace!”

“Bahaha!!!”

They were all three rolling with laughter, their cheeks big and smiles wide, they could hardly talk, I was dumbfounded. I had merely asked the King for triple helpings of His grace to help me make through my already crummy, had hardly begun day and my progeny could hardly maintain composure.

As I already formulated my defense and rebuttal, scolding in the form of reprimand, I asked for clarification. How was my prayer laughable?

“Can’t you just see it Mama?! Bahaha! Grace on top of Grace on top of Grace. Stacked up!? Bahaha.”

By now the laughter was side-splitting and I still had no clue what was so funny.
Normally in a situation where I need clarification from my children I at least make an attempt at composure. There was no hiding it now, I was less and less composed and curtly said “What is SO funny?”

“Mama GRACE!” Grace had now turned to a three syllable word to emphasize it. “Ga-ah-race!”

“Can’t you just imagine how she would be with her tiny little legs?!” They all three burst into another fit of laughter and I smiled, I was beginning to understand. Despite being late to the party, their laughter was contagious so I imagined what they were imagining, and I too began to laugh uncontrollably.

My Mama has an older Dachshund named “Grace.” She is much like other Senior dog counterparts. She likes to bask in the sunshine, she naps with a regularity you could set a watch by. Grace is slow to move and gets “stove-up” as Mama says nearly daily. She hides when she is annoyed, her bark is bigger than her missing teeth bite. She is always in the mood for food and will “beg” on her hind legs for anything, but snubs the fancy dog foods my mama buys. When she visits us she can be found chomping on the cheap dog food from the General Dollar Store. Mama always says I’m telling a story when I bring it up.

Grace is good Senior adult company. She is playful on her on terms and has been known to play opossum better than an opossum.

When I prayerfully asked for the abundance of Grace my children literally pictured Grace, the dog, stacked up. Grace on top of Grace on top of Grace. The mental image they had all along had now taken hold of my imagination and I was done for. I was laughing as hard as they were. I could just see her tiny legs on the back of her older Doxie frame, annoyed with the Grace atop and bellow I felt confident that Middle Grace would be visibly annoyed and would verbalize said annoyance.

By the time we reached our destination my attitude was entirely different, I felt better already and in an instant realized the King had not delayed in freely giving what I’d ask. In giving Grace on top of Grace on top of Grace, the laughter and joy brought forth were the very strength I needed to tackle the day head on and left me in awe once again of His marvelous gifts.

Then he said to them, “for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b (ESV)

“…you must learn to hold everything loosely…everything. Even your dear family. Why? Because the Father may wish to take one of them back to Himself, and when he does, it will hurt you if He must pry your fingers loose.” – Corrie Ten Boom

“If you prepare your heart, you will stretch out your hands toward him . . . And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security.” Job 11:13; 18

A few years ago, a little family of blue birds built their nest in a nook in one of the columns on our front porch. The kids and I would take turns peeking in the nest, watching the eggs, never touching, always on the lookout for momma blue bird. It wasn’t long into the spring that the eggs hatched and we’d peek in on those baby birds, mouths agape, waiting for their momma to bring them dinner. We could hear their chirping and observed as their momma flew out—never very far away—to find a meal for her babies.

One day we noticed the momma was encouraging those babies out of the nest. She was letting them go for a test flight. The birds had a short route from one column to the next and then back to the nest. They never ventured very far. They would fly out and return in the same pattern for days and weeks. Then we noticed they flew a bit further; to the end of our driveway this time. Then back home to the comfort of the nest. One day we saw those blue birds fly out of the yard and we waited and waited, but there was no return home. Those baby birds had grown up and grown strong and were now setting out to do what God created them to do—to soar.

I remember watching those birds with tears. I recognized the metaphor. My children, at the time, were too young to realize the significance of those beautiful creatures, and how they were piercing my momma heart. I knew my time was coming. The time was quickly advancing when I would need to send my kids out of the nest to do what God created them to do. But it was years away. Then, I blinked.

Now I’m mom to a college junior, a high school senior and sophomore, and a seventh grader. I’ve sent one bird flying out of the nest. She is soaring above the clouds. She is becoming who God created her to be. She is spreading her wings. And I’ve got three plotting and planning their journey to the next adventure. They are anxious to spread their wings and set out on their own, but those wings still need strengthening. I am learning there are more lessons than I expected as I walk through this season of parenting. Here are a few notes I’ve taken so far:

It’s harder than I expected. I knew sending my girl four and a half hours away to school would be tough. I knew my heart would grieve. I didn’t know how much I would miss the little things. Talking with her after a long day at work. Counseling her about friends and life and holding her hand as I prayed with her. Grabbing her up for a spontaneous road trip or movie or hike. Learning with her; editing her papers. Missing her in her chair at dinner or in her usual spot on the sofa. Squeezing her every morning as she wandered down the stairs in a sleepy haze. Seeing her artwork strewn all over the house. I don’t know if I’ll ever not miss those moments, but the joy begins to overtake the sorrows and I am beginning to recognize those memories as sweet gifts.

It’s filled with gifts of grace. You often wonder how your kids will do when they leave the nest. Have you taught them enough? Did you speak truth to them enough? Did you give them the tools they need to stand firm when they face opposition? Did you pray with them and over them enough? I have found God to be true to His Word in every way. Even when I blew it (which was a lot) and even when I missed it (which was a lot), He filled in gaps and taught my girl. I’ve watched her walk in the truth and press into Jesus. She has become desperate for Him. His guidance. His presence. That, my friends, is grace. In spite of my lack, in spite of my mistakes, and maybe even because of them, God has captured the heart of my child.

It’s essential that they struggle. Those baby birds did not succeed in flying every time they left the nest. But the momma bird didn’t keep them from falling. She let them struggle and encouraged them to try again. Through the struggle, the strength those baby birds needed to soar was worked out. It was through their falling they learned how to get up and try again. My girl has struggled. Her first year away at school was tough. I mean HARD. She faced stress and friendship drama and heartache. She wondered if she could. She wondered if she would. And then she did. She learned how to press into Jesus. She learned how to manage her time. She learned how to forgive. She learned how to find comfort in the arms of her Savior. She learned how to be discerning and humble and kind. She learned how to love well and sacrificially. All those spiritual muscles were built because of those hard things she faced.

It’s better than I imagined. I know that’s a paradox, but there has been a certain beauty in watching my little bird soar. I remember looking at that momma bird as her little birdlings soared through the skies and I could have sworn I saw a glint of pride in her eyes. When I watch my girl now, walking in the truth, learning from her mistakes, working so hard, yet learning to rest in His guidance, all I can see is the faithfulness of my God. All those years of tears and abiding and teaching and wondering and feeling like I was failing my kids, all along, He was holding me. He was holding my children. And He still holds them.

I told my children many years ago, there would be a time when they would need to transfer their obedience to me into obedience to Jesus. Their hearts would need to be fully surrendered to their King. My time with them only serves to model what it looks like to honor and obey their Heavenly Father. They practice with me and their daddy. They learn from us what it is to trust and to respect and to honor and to obey and to seek counsel and to learn and to grow. We are imperfect, fallible parents who struggle with our own humanity and sin. But our job, in all our weakness, is to point them constantly to the perfect parent, their Abba Father, and watch them soar in the shadow of His wings.

Letting go is painful. Letting go is necessary. Letting go is beautiful. Giving them wings is what we seek to do every day as we point them to the One who created them and will hold them as they set out on their own adventure with the King. And we, as parents, don’t want to hold so tightly that God has to pry our hands away. We learn to hold them loosely. And trust that the One who created them is faithful and will be with them every step of the journey. And He is. So we stretch out our hearts and rest in the hope and security of the Savior and sustainer. We let them go and we watch them soar.