Boundaries are important.

In the old west, ranchers had fences. Or on the really huge tracts of open pasture they branded what they owned to show it belonged to them and was under their authority. If you’ve ever watched a 1960 cowboy show you’ve seen this. What always happened on Gunsmoke or Bonanza? A guy in a black cowboy hat (bad guy) was rustling cows, robbing the stagecoach or train, blocking water rights, or taking over land illegally. And the guy in the white hat (good guy) always came to the rescue of the damsel in distress whose possessions or boundary was threatened.

Boundaries are important. From Genesis 1 God established boundaries. He separated light and dark, heaven and earth, land and sea, work and rest, and he made distinction in kinds of animals and plants. In Genesis 2 He established a separation, a boundary, between male and female. He set very distinct boundaries for the beautiful home He had made for Adam and Eve (verses 10-14). He set a boundary of what they could and could not eat. By chapter 3 (out of 1,189 chapters in the Bible) the Enemy had already come to tempt Adam and Eve to push the boundaries. And they did. And there were consequences: doubt, greed, rebellion, sin, but also hiding from God, fear, deception, broken relationships, blame, strife between women and men, unfulfilled desires, domination, pain and toil all their life, thorns & thistles, sweat, separation, loss of the simplicity of a beautiful life, and death. They were now outcasts of the Garden.

Today the Enemy still does the same thing. He tempts humans to push the boundaries.  When they do, just as with Adam and Eve, people experience the devastating consequences too. Life and relationships are marred with pain and betrayal and separation and other negative consequences because individuals don’t honor those boundaries as God’s Word instructs us to, but instead ignore moral boundaries, marital boundaries, property boundaries, societal boundaries, and legal boundaries – just to name a few of the most common violations.

Blessings follow as children of God obey and honor boundaries.

Property Boundaries

Except for kleptomaniacs, this one boundary seems pretty easy for the average Christian to honor. Think: I don’t want anyone to steal my lawnmower, so I’m not going to steal yours. Makes sense. Easy, right?

Or is it? What about the office supplies that end up at the house, taken home with good intentions, to do some work, but the surplus never returned? Hmmm. Or how about the $20 bill  found on the sidewalk, tucked in the pocket, as the new owner walks merrily away singing “Finders keepers, losers weepers”? Hmmm. Need I go on? Vigilance is required in order for Christians not to find themselves going over those giant bumps of a mega slide headed down a slippery slope.

Moral Boundaries

Most people consider themselves to be moral people. They understand right and wrong. If someone lies it is a betrayal of trust. If another woman steals someone’s husband, anger and a break in relationship is a correct response. Society understands that it should protect the innocence of children and the fragility of the elderly and infirm.

Often moral boundaries don’t become an issue for Church folks until they find themselves halfway down that slippery slope and starting to grab at any handhold along the way including denying, justifying actions, lying, and manipulating people and circumstances. Often a person will give in to temptation the first time in a small way without even realizing it, unless they are vigilant. For example: At work a married woman makes a business call to a man. At the end they share a silly joke and laugh together. She hangs up. Her day is brightened. Nothing wrong with that. However, Satan has cracked open a door. Does she have the safety chain on the door? If not, she may find herself developing a friendship, enjoying the attention of that man, spending time fondly thinking of him, accepting his flirty compliments, and then she finds herself in a spot. She is flirting with a moral boundary she never saw herself having to deal with.

To keep moral boundaries secure, a woman must be vigilant with her thought life! She can lie to herself if not careful.

Relational Boundaries

What are relational boundaries? These are the interpersonal skills of how a person takes care of their own inner needs and outer duties and commitments. They help distinguish a person’s unique identity from that of another person. These boundaries are essential for leading a healthy, balanced life, and they include physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual boundary lines. Frequently, people struggle with these type boundaries because of their personality traits or habits developed in their upbringing. Consider the following.

Ever met a person who seemed to have never grown up? It’s not always obvious what issue they have, but a person hanging around them may end up feeling a pull to take on responsibilities that are not theirs, either materially, physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. The person continually borrowing the $10 that is never repaid. (Material boundary.) The person wanting someone to come to their rescue in a crisis, but then never reciprocating. (Emotional/physical boundary.) The teen whose bedroom is cleaned by Mom, only to have it back in the same shape within 6 weeks, which then ignites Mom’s anger at them that they aren’t taking care of their responsibilities. (Physical/mental boundary.)

On the flip side of that are the people who seem to never need anyone. It is apparent that they could use a hand, but they continually decline all offers and send the message, “I got this.” They are walled off in a self-protective way that allows very few people in. (Emotional boundary.) They have a rigid boundary of self-protection, that surely does keep the bad out, but also prohibits good from entering.

Then there are individuals that sin and suffer consequences but never accept the truth that it was their sin that caused the problems. They still want to point fingers and play the blame game which cycles them into more sin, because blame is lying (saying it is another’s fault when it is not), and these lies are keeping the person distant with their Heavenly Father. (Spiritual boundary.) This boudary issue keeps God at a distance and keeps the boundary-less person from reaching full repentance and resolution. The Gospel “brings hostile parties together (Colossians 1:21) and heals relationships between God and humanity, and between people.” (Boundaries, p. 135)

All of these people have boundary issues.

Henry Cloud, in his book Boundaries, reminds Christians of the need and purpose of relational boundaries. The purpose of boundaries is two-fold: to keep out things that will harm and to allow in things that will nurture. They should be like fences with a gate, not walls. Things and people come and go in life for a person’s good if they exercise appropriate boundaries. No one is required to allow angry or abusive people into their lives. However, scripture does command us to forgive them. Forgiveness means turning them over to God and letting them off our hook, not allowing them to keep harming us. As for the second purpose of boundaries, if Mrs. Lone Ranger is acting in a self-sufficient manner, she’s missing out on her deep relationships and needs being ministered to, but she is also depriving others in the body of Christ of an opportunity to exercise their God-given gift of mercy or exhortation or service or giving. Each member of the body of Christ must minister and be ministered to, just as the cells, tissues, and systems of our physical body work together yet are independent in their purposes. They each carry out their own job, but are supported by other parts doing their own jobs as well.

Roping our Steer

It’s time to grow up Little Cowgirls! We need to grab our rope, mount our horse, and chase that steer that belongs to us. We are responsible for things within our boundaries. Are we taking care of them? Or are we trying to pass the blame just as our sister Eve did? Just as God gave Adam & Eve responsibilities and boundaries, He has given us responsibilities and boundaries.

How are you most tempted, to push the boundaries morally? To not handle relational boundaries appropriately? It’s time to learn how to set boundaries. (Check out the link above for more info.) It’s time to exercise self-control. Call your spirit to attention in Jesus’ name and have a talk with it, or allow Him to speak. Speak scriptural truth to yourself, immerse yourself in God’s Word, memorize it, purify your mind, and pray.

Colossians chapter 3 is full of wisdom on how to shape up boundaries. If a woman spent all her mental effort living out the commands of this one chapter, boundaries would be a tiny issue if any issue at all.

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” (3:2-4)

^“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” (3:5)

“But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.^” (3:8)

“Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” (3:9-10)

^“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (3:12-14)

^“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace and be thankful.” (3:15)

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.” (3:16)

“Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus. (3:17)

^“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (3:18)

^“Children, obey your parents in everything.” (3:19)

^“Do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (3:20)

^“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” (3:23)

Christ is your life! Go live your life with those boundaries!

Life with boundaries can be beautiful!

 

Fireworks, watermelon, American flags, cookouts, and patriotic music – these are just some of the things that make up the Fourth of July for many Americans. As we prepare to celebrate, my mind wanders back to those Independence Day celebrations of my formative years….

I recall the warnings to be careful with sparklers and firecrackers and the cold refreshment of hand-cranked homemade ice cream at the end of a sweltering July day in Alabama. I also vividly remember as a kid the first time I heard the joke “Do they have a 4th of July in England?” After thinking No, of course not, and then Why would England celebrate our independence from them; I finally realized Oh yeah, July 4th is just a date on the calendar. (I’m slow. I know.) That little moment woke me up to the rest of the world. Suddenly, I was a child of the world, not just an American. In a similar way, we as Christians in America need to wake up to the world.

As an elementary school kid, patriotism and love for our “dear ole USA” was encouraged. And as a Christian, honoring and respecting our country and its laws went hand in hand with the godly values taught. Prayers were said at school (back then) and the pledge of allegiance to the country was recited at the church Vacation Bible Schools. It was all meshed together in my mind – the whole “being an American and being a Christian” thing. Somehow faith and nationalism became mixed in the minds of many. And now we find ourselves as adult Christians who serve up Western culture right along with Christianity at times.

This Independence Day as we ooh and aah over fireworks displays set to our favorite patriotic tunes, let’s plan to do some self-evaluation.

• Let’s separate those expectations based on American traditions from expectations based on the mandates of Scripture.
• Let’s realize that respecting our country is good, but honoring God is best.
• Let’s be more concerned over the fact that the people we encounter each day are lost souls rather than that they are Democrats or Republicans – foes or friends it seems these days.
• Let’s exercise our freedom to pray and speak about Christ more than we lament how we feel those freedoms are being threatened.
• Let’s fight against those inner tendencies to buy into the American dream more than we sell out to Christ.
• Let’s respect all nations, peoples, tribes, and tongues, and develop a hunger to pray for them, relate to them, love them with the love of Christ, and reach them with the Gospel.
• Let’s treat every man, woman, and child we meet – no matter where they come from, what they look like, how they are dressed, what color their skin is, or how much the media tells us to fear them – as they truly are: men, women, and children Christ gave His life to save.

Enjoy celebrating America’s birth! Examine your perspectives. Let’s live out Scripture even when our walk is oddly out of sync with American culture. And take some time this holiday to demonstrate Christ’s love to all the folks you encounter at the fireworks display!

When the kids were little, my husband and I decided early on that a spat on their bottom was acceptable for us. (Please don’t judge!) We came to consensus on some basic rules to make sure we treated the kids well. Rule 1: Never spank in anger; cool down before you administer any punishment. Rule 2: Always spat on the padded bottom – plenty of fatty tissue, clothes, and diapers! And Rule 3: Never more than 3 swats at a time. We loved our children and wanted to discipline them without hurting them.

But this is NOT a blog about corporal punishment. 

This is the story of a simple, ordinary spring morning. But that day the usual routine of motherhood took a turn that would bring tears, create a memory for years to come, and teach a precious spiritual truth.

The setting. The third bedroom/nursery of our home. This was the “school room” for our three oldest children and lessons were churning away slowly as I held baby number four and worked with the younger children on their lessons. As I turned to check on the eldest, bliss was shattered. What his particular infringement of the day was is lost to me in the shadows of my memory, but I do know it was important enough that it warranted a, “That’s one lick. You know better. Now get back to your school work on your own until I finish with the girls.” Most days this would’ve been enough and school would have continued on peacefully. This particular day, it was just the beginning.

As I got up to change a diaper and my presence was removed from the vicinity, more chaos ensued. My return and awareness of the childish disobedience going on necessitated the promise of more licks “as soon as I get through taking care of the baby.” But this was still not the end.

Over the next half hour, after a string of other misbehavior, including being aggressive and mean toward his sisters, my firstborn had accumulated a total of 6 promised licks! Six! What would I do?!

While I finished nursing the baby and listening to the reading of the girls, my mind raced trying to figure out how I would handle this. I don’t give more than three licks! Why had I kept promising more? I was so busy with the other three children the situation had snowballed on me. I couldn’t break my word. But I couldn’t give 6 licks either! I had to exercise consistency. I had to teach that I kept my word and that actions have consequences you can’t worm out of, while still maintaining my own convictions that protected my children.

“This is what the Lord Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.’ ” Zechariah 7:9

The girls’ lessons were finally finished and the baby put to sleep. As I called my son to lunch, I knew the punishment had to happen right then. So I flung an emergency prayer up to heaven, “Lord, help me know what to do! I’ve gotten myself in a fix.” Should I overlook his mistakes? Punish his mistakes? How could I love this little sinner without endorsing his sin? Because endorsed sin becomes repeated sin.

My son walked into the room, and I sat down before him eye to eye to talk about what he had done before I gave him a spanking. As I took his little hand and gazed into his eyes, the answer to my prayer came – a God inspiration at that very moment! I reminded my child of what he had done wrong and why it was wrong. I told him he deserved punishment, and that I was going to have to give him 6 licks today even though my rule was only 3 licks. He looked at me a bit puzzled. Then I took his hand and began to actually lick his hand with my tongue, counting “One – two…”

I didn’t get any farther before the wails started. You would’ve thought I was physically beating him. He squirmed and cried and begged, “Noooo, Mommy! Don’t lick me!” I managed to give him all six licks, just like I was enjoying a Tootsie Pop, even amid the squirms and tears. When it was over he ran to his room crying as if his heart was broken.

Just recently I asked him if he remembered that event, and his response was a hearty, “Oh yes!” even as a 30-year-old. It was a lesson that stuck, with him and with me.

The lesson I saw in it was a lesson of God’s mercy.

When we sin, we put God in the same position I was in as a mom. I was trapped between owing my son justice, but loving him so much I desired to offer mercy – having to uphold the truth I had spoken, but desiring to show kindness to my beloved little one. And ladies, is that not a glimpse of how God is with us?

God was faced with two equally unappealing options – to be just or be merciful. Be true to His word or be kind. Overlook or punish our sin. How could He redeem the sinner without endorsing the sin? And just like He inspired me to do, God also found a third option, a way around the problem, and it is called The Cross of Christ. By placing the punishment we deserved on the shoulders of His own son, He could obtain justice and still show us mercy at the same time.

“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.  But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 2:3-7

“Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.” Colossians 1:21-22.

“When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.” Colossians 2:13-14

“He paid a debt He did not owe. I owed a debt I could not pay. I needed someone to wash my sins away. Christ Jesus paid a debt that I could never pay.”

Who of you is a night owl? A choc-o-holic? A shoe girl? Who’s a worrier? Flamboyant?Easy-going? I can almost see some of you waving your hand and calling out “I am.”

I am.

The shortest phrase in the English language.

It only has 3 letters – I – A – M. Yet it carries great meaning. It shows existence. It allows us to define who we are and what we’re feeling. And Yahweh, the Almighty God, claims it as His name.

We relate people’s characteristics to their name. Maybe you have a name that you adore because you loved a person who had that name, and their characteristics will forever be attached to that name for you. Or just the opposite, maybe you swore you’d never name your son a certain name because a guy with that name was a jerk to you.

In the Bible we frequently see this concept of a name representing a person’s character. The names of the people exhibited their nature. Think about it Jacob – the deceiver, Jabez – pain, and Abraham – father of many. And while we may not name a daughter Rahab, we look upon that name kindly because she helped the Israelites, stood up for her family, and was in the lineage of Jesus.

In Exodus 3:13-14 God reveals His name to Moses as “hayah,” a Hebrew word which literally means “I AM” or “to be” or “the self-existent One”  From this Hebrew word we get God’s Old Testament name, Yahweh. The letters “YHWH” with no vowels. This is referred to as the Tetragrammaton (tetra meaning “four” and gramma meaning “letter”.   Simply – “the four letters.” The Jews wrote God’s name this way because they considered it too holy to be uttered or to be written out entirely. This Tetragrammaton for God’s name is what is translated in scripture as Yahweh or Jehovah, and is written in our current translations as “LORD.”

This is NOT a name people chose to call God. This is THE NAME Father God called Himself. Father God could have revealed Himself to us in any way He chose and could have given Himself any name He wished. Therefore it is significant that He chose to tell us His name was I AM.

He was showing His eternality by stating His name as “I am” – the self-existent One. He is always I AM. He is not here today and gone tomorrow. He is not “I was, but am no more.” And He’s not “I will be, but not right now.” Every moment is now to Him. He is the creator of time, so He is outside of time. “He is” in every moment. That’s why He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) God is dependable.

Why would He choose this for His name?! If I were Him I would have named myself “Creator of All” or “ Mighty King” or “ Ruler of the Universe.” I would be saying “look what I’ve done!” But He was interested in revealing His character NOT His actions. Here in Exodus 3, He is making Himself known to us by who/what He IS rather than what He DOES. He is defining Himself for us with a “being verb” not an “action verb.” Now I’m a teacher. And I love English. So I really get into this. Action verbs show action. Duh? Words like run, play, create, read, serve, pray, witness… Whereas “being” verbs are words that relate what something is. There are 8 of them: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been. And by using this kind of verb He is identifying Himself as He hopes we will identify ourselves. By who we are more than by what we do. That’s what He wants from us. He wants us to “be” His, to “be”-come more like Him internally.

So… How about us? Do we define ourselves by what we do or by who we are? Are we evaluating our Christian walk using action verbs or being verbs?

We all know that there is action/work/doing necessary in the Christian walk. We are told in James 1:22 – “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” In other words, if we go to church to hear all great sermons, but we don’t start applying the lessons to how we live our life, we are deceiving ourselves. Our Christian faith involves action: ministry, serving, self-control. When we truly follow Christ we will be doing things. We will be busy. Our time is not our own, it is His and we must consult Him with how we use it.

BUT…

The “Be”-ing should come before the “Do”-ing. Look at James 1:22 again. It says we are to “BE doers of the word.” Many of us sacrifice time alone being with the Lord in a quiet time and becoming who He wants us to become in order to do, do, do. We read this verse and believe God wants us to “be a doer.”  We teach, take meals, sing, act, study, perform,… all the while being stagnant in spiritual growth.

But now read James 1:22 and let the Lord stop us on the first word. “Be…” Be. Period. Realize, the “Be” comes before the ”do” in that sentence. To me this verse, that is a command for us, insinuates that I have first sat and heard or “been” with the Father. And then I become a doer. It presents to us a 1st thing (hearing and being) and a 2^nd thing (doing). That was His plan for us. We are “to be” before we are “to do.”

From the first time God tells us His name in the OT, He introduces Himself by what His nature IS, and NOT by what He has done or can do. Now all through scripture we see God called by names that emphasize what He does, but here in Exodus 3:14 God simply called Himself “I AM.”

While the Christina life involves both being and doing, I encourage you to let the Great I AM release you from doing and draw you to just BE. Be immersed in His Word and prayer. Be with Him. Be holy. Be ready. Be yourself. Be all He made you to be. Be all that you can be. Be like Him, then the doing will come.

But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only – James 1:22  

A friend whose husband had passed away several months ago recently got an amazing blessing. Distant (and well off) family members were looking to invest in property in her area, and they offered to purchase her a home for her retirement years. No cost to her at all! What a blessing! She now has no financial worries for her retirement.

Blessings! Aren’t they great? I imagine you’re like me and the idea of being blessed – period – appeals to you. I love it when people buy me a Christmas gift no matter how large or small it is. I adore it when someone remembers my birthday and blesses me with a visit, a gift, or going out to lunch together. I get a warm feeling inside when I am blessed with any kind of special delivery – cards, flowers, or a surprise UPS box!

However, all of this seems small compared to my friend being blessed by her relative!

But even THAT seems small compared to the thought of being blessed by our Creator – the God of the universe. Now that would be a blessing!

All through scripture we see examples of God blessing people. He blessed them for their obedience. He blessed them for their faith. He blessed them because someone prayed for them. He blessed them because they prayed and requested it of Him. He blessed them because of their heritage – their parents or family line. He blessed them for no reason at all – simply because He chose to.

So my question for you to consider is
What is an appropriate response to a blessing?

Now, if a 4-year-old responds to a birthday gift at his party with, “What? I already have one of these. I don’t want it,” the parents are mortified and realize they haven’t managed to teach that child gratefulness just yet. Not an appropriate response to a blessing. If your dear 90-year-old grandmother responds to your gift to her by putting it away and saving it for later, and then you find it still with the tag on years later, you realize – not an appropriate response to a blessing. But those type of responses are forgiven and understood as errs due to their age.

But what about you? What about me? When I am blessed by my Heavenly Father, do I sometimes act ungratefully? And how about those moments I grumble about what I don’t have rather than appreciate the blessings I do? Do you sometimes put away the blessing that God gave you and never manage to get around to getting it out, using it, sharing it, and blessing others with it? Do we hoard our resources God Has blessed us with? How about times we hoard the Gospel (our greatest blessing) and don’t bother to share it because it’s inconvenient in the moment, or we’re a bit embarrassed, or it’s awkward to know how to start talking to another person, or    (insert your excuse here)   .

In Genesis 12:2 God says to Abram, “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.” In these words we see one of God’s purposes for blessing. He blesses us in order for us to be a blessing to others. In God’s economy, He blesses us for a reason. God has a trickle down economy. Contrary to popular politics, a trickle down economy isn’t necessarily a bad thing, at least God’s kind isn’t. He blesses us to bless others. Cause and effect. We benefit. Others benefit. All benefit.

We don’t always see the reason we’ve been blessed. We won’t always know what is going to occur when we in turn bless others. He doesn’t always tell us as He did Abram. When we receive a blessing with open hands we may be a blessing to just one other person, or like Abram, we may be that channel of blessing to a huge group of people. We may never know exactly what will become of it when we bless others. A pastor once explained that it’s like a pipe that God keeps pouring into as long as we keep pouring out the other end and into other people’s lives. Let’s not allow that conduit to get stopped up!

So is your pipe flowing? Are blessings flowing from you to others?

I have seen this pipeline at work many times. Here are a few examples off the top of my head. God blessed a friend at church with financial wisdom that he uses to teach others how to handle their finances wisely. God blessed my sister-in-law with a seminary degree that she uses to bless preschoolers and their parents. He blessed my husband, myself and our children with a run-in with Leukemia which taught our hearts more in one year than I had learned in the 36 years before, and allows us to bless others in similar circumstances with compassion, prayer, and help in their desperate times. He blessed a retired lady I know with time on her hands to go to doctor’s appointments with people and take them meals and be a help in many ways. He blessed my friend Fran with an excellent job and she in turn blesses servers at restaurants with 100% tips. Yes, I said 100%!

What has God blessed you with? And what are you doing with it?

I would challenge you to seek to react to your blessings in a few specific ways.

1) Bless God – Be Grateful. Don’t just take it all in with an attitude. Enjoy. Thank. Be grateful in your heart. Even for the little things. The gas in your tank lasted until payday. Thank you Lord! You got a chance to work on that special project at work you’d hoped for. I’m grateful, Lord! The scholarship came through; you can go back to college. Yes Lord, you are good to me even when I don’t deserve it. Practice the habit of gratefulness and you will find yourself happier in life.

2) Bless Others – Don’t hoard your resources; use what God has blessed you with. Don’t put it on a shelf and save it for a better day. If you have an artistic talent, use it for God’s glory. If you have material resources, spread the material blessings to those who have need. If you have intellectual or writing talents, write Bible lessons or encouraging articles or a book even. If you can sew like my friend Kathy, you give of your free time  making special stitched gifts for breast cancer patients.

3) Bless Others – Don’t ignore opportunities; do good whenever it is within your power, even if it’s inconvenient. Things aren’t nearly as accidental as people believe. A person with a need is a divine appointment. Seek the way the Father would want you to respond. My very mechanical husband has a knack for this; if you’ve ever had car trouble within his range of vision, chances are you have been helped, often to the delay of family plans. But that is not bad. Share the skills with which you’ve been blessed. 

4) Bless Yourself – Don’t focus on what you don’t have; rejoice in your many blessings. It’s too easy to bemoan what you don’t have and wish you did. This negative, cynical mindset keeps our mind off of the things of God. Break this habit. Change this mindset. When you find yourself thinking or speaking “if only” or “poor me” thoughts and words, replace them with a run down of your blessings! Count your blessings name them one by one!

5) Bless Your Heavenly Father and the World – Get past the awkwardness and share the gospel. Your best gift to the Father is obedience. When you are grateful for His blessings to you, let that be a trigger for you to obey Him. Obey His great commission and “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20) Don’t hold back. Be a blessing.

So this evening, as you are settling in for bed and spending a few moments counting your blessings before the Lord, remember to thank Him. Ask Him to show you how you can use what you’ve been blessed with to bless someone around you. You are blessed to be a blessing!

You are blessed to be a blessing! Shower it on others!

by Debbie Stovall

Sitting in the waiting room, staring at all the terribly sick people around us, my first thought was, “We don’t belong here.” But we did belong there. That hematologist’s office was just where we belonged. Over the next few months we would be so grateful to be there to receive answers, healing, and life-saving treatment.

You may have been in that same place. You may have found yourself face-to-face with a life-threatening diagnosis. At that point your emotions are high and you start really evaluating what you believe. It’s not a fun place to be. I would never choose to put myself back there, but I would also never give up that period of our life because of the lessons learned through that journey.

If you are just stepping onto that path you probably feel afraid. You are probably wondering if this will be the end, or if the treatments will cause much pain and discomfort, or why did God allow this? But there are no answers. It is a walk “not by sight” whether you want it to be or not.

But whether it is a walk of faith… now that is your choice.

When my husband was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia in 1997, all I knew was there was no cure for this blood cancer. I didn’t know if he would live to teach any of our 4 children, then under 11-years-old, to drive. I didn’t know what ramifications it would have for our children or how I could ever live and raise a family without the love of my life and our financial provider. I didn’t even know what a hematologist was until we ended up in that waiting room. It came out of nowhere and I was caught totally flat-footed.

I would love to tell you that I handled the physician’s diagnosis that day with faith, totally depending on God, but that wouldn’t be true. My first reaction to this news was fear. I danced with denial, tried to brush off reality, but finally came up against a wall in a hematology office. Cold fear gripped me so much that it was a physical sensation down in the depths of my stomach. I lived for weeks with fear as my constant sidekick. I cried. I prayed desperate prayers. I freaked out to any friend who would listen. I lay awake in the night staring at my sweet husband trying to memorize his face in case he died. I kept going to church regularly, sitting in the back weeping the whole service. But sadly, what I did not do was I did not choose the path of faith right away. Over those months I learned that when we can’t see what lies ahead we have a choice to make: to walk by faith or by fear.

Jesus replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” John 8:26

One morning, alone in my living room, I cried out to God. Literally. I vocally shouted out to God, “Please don’t let my husband die!” At that moment God began to work in my heart. He confronted me with my fears. He made me acknowledge that I didn’t know what was best for my life, but He did; and even if that meant losing my husband, that He, Father God, would be with me every step. He opened my eyes to see the reality that He loved me and cared for me and would be with me through every hard and horrible situation I would face in life. Did I have the faith to grasp onto that and let go of the fear?

After that day we faced chemo, neutropenic fever, hospital stays, bone marrow biopsies, blood tests, isolation rooms, doctor visits and all the other not-so-fun things that go with cancer treatment. It was a long, tiring, often emotional journey. But we learned what mattered in life and what didn’t. We learned to walk by faith, not fear. We learned how deeply the Father loved us. We learned that Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for us was our treasure.

“You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” – Jesus questioned the disciples on their fear. Their fear was seen as a direct response to their lack of faith. Here’s the whole story:

Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” John 8:23-27

How often do we find ourselves alone in a storm? Or maybe not totally alone, maybe we’re going through that storm with our family who are also Christians. But among all of us, just like among the 12 disciples, we find we can’t muster up the courage to face it. We’re overwhelmed with fear of death, destruction, and devastation. We feel like we’re drowning. This passage reminds us of how the disciples dealt with their fear: they went to the Lord. “They woke him,” it says. God is not asleep on us, but sometimes we feel so afraid and alone we feel like saying, “Hey Jesus, wake up. Are you there? Do you see what’s happening to me?” And that’s ok. Just like with the disciples, Jesus will get up, ask us why we “of little faith” are so afraid, and will handle the situation. We then find it is suddenly completely calm. We find the “peace that passes understanding” that Philippians 4:6-8 talks about, and awe and amazement of Him overwhelms us!

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It’s now been 20 years since our leukemia journey started. Randy is still alive, and yes, he taught all our kids to drive! We still face the yearly blood test to see if his numbers are good. We hold our breath for a few days. And his segs and bands come out normal again. (Praise the Lord for being average!)  I know not everyone gets those results and I’m grateful we have. But even if we hadn’t, God would still be good and still be in control. I’m grateful that we learned to walk with God the Father through every valley. (And we have faced several serious valley’s since 1997.) What we went through with leukemia is the thing that built our foundation in Christ and gives us the will to walk by faith not fear when we can’t walk by sight.

As you face your giant, whatever it is that is in front of you igniting that fear reaction, pause and take time to think. It is your choice whether you fight that giant everyday. But it is a wearisome battle. You cannot know the future. But you can know the God who will get you through it. His Word will reveal Him to you. He is loving. He is caring. He is faithful. He forgives you. He will fight for you. He is on your side. He has plans for your life. Though bad things come, He has no intention of harm to you, but rather works things out for your good. And so you have two choices, A) to walk this unknown path with fear gnawing away at you every day, or B) to walk this unknown path with faith in this One who is a good, good Father. You don’t have to fight that giant; have faith in the One who fights for you!